TrickDogma

I dreamt of Harems

2010-06-17T19:52:00.003-04:00

Fillmore (by LW)

I dreamt of harems and streets cobbled
of meeting a nondescript man on a nondescript corner
behind winded curtains, tasting muddled, spiced air

I dreamed he spoke of regrets and forgotten dreams
of desires that stays with us long after
life has turned the hour glass many times over

I dreamed he whispered courage in my ear
and planted words with the strength of diamond
to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous

I dreamt I met a man on a clandestine night corner
and we spoke of dreams from the day
I awoke to forget his face but not the words he said

* i got into grad school, but haven't committed yet. wtf is wrong with me? eight years ago i would not have thought twice. wisdom fcking sucks.

Pictures

2010-05-11T15:27:00.000-04:00

Images that's slowly becoming familiar.
An egg, my transportation, a new music venue, delectable drinks, local bookstore.

egg (via LW)

shoes (via LW)

art at bart (via LW)

oakland (via LW)

vampire weekend (via LW)

cafe van cleef (via LW)

pigeons & doritos (via LW)

penguin book covers (via LW)

Organizing an Asian Immigrant Household & New Project

2010-05-04T02:22:00.002-04:00

trail of piles (by LW)

At some point, I have to admit when something is hopeless. And organizing an Asian immigrant household is one such hopeless something.

I've seen the two extremes. On the one end there are households which are studiously neat and painfully organized. On the other end are the rat packs and pile makers, not yet TLC hoarders, but definitely of a similar tone.

Currently, yours truly is spreading her time between free beers, rock walls, maintaining her health and a new construction project in the southern end of San Francisco.

Can I get a 'are you fucking for real?!'

Yes, after months of painful .dwgs for coffee shops, restaurants, CofO, a legitimate project is finally here. The details are still vague, but sure facts are the following

a row house
tight budget
Asian immigrant household
I am going to give someone a free hug for every green feature I can sink into this building

There are several epic battles happening as this project develops (and gets built!). There is the known "contractors" vs "architects" battle, albeit only architecturally trained. There is "old school" vs "progressive". There's "economy" vs "aesthetic/green features". The new epic battle that I'm adding to the mix is the "but this is how we like our homes and what we consider nice homes" vs "seriously, have you looked at this." The project and its corresponding battles might not be so epic that a made for tv film will result from it. But yours truly will indeed post all the shenanigans as they will undoubtedly reveal themselves.

But let us go back to the original dilemma posed, the philosophical question that I've been contemplating lately. If you could add, delete, make bigger, shrink, transform some thing/room/space in an Asian immigrant household, what would it be? How will it make the house function better? Will it make the organizing easier? Will it hold the hoarders at bay? Or is this an issue I should let go and just admit is completely hopeless?

Sunsets

2010-04-18T21:53:00.005-04:00

Fruitvale BART (by LW)

I need sunsets in my life
To mark the end of the day
A note, a beautiful reminder
To sleep, rest and dream

I am afraid of climbing stairs
That ends in a dead end
Or going down a forked path
And it leads no where, with nothing and no one

There are enough things, obstacles
Convictions, history
Promises, our selves
That makes life difficult, makes life life

I need sunsets in my life
So I can lay down, rest up, dream dreams again
Remember all that is certain is change
And so might my dreams as well

Maybe I'll do few u-turns and backtrack
Cross a few more bridges than I expected
I need sunsets in my life
Because it means tomorrow will be here soon

Accidents and Health

2010-03-30T20:39:00.002-04:00

Crash Test Dummy Group (Steerpike and J.J., Binary via Wikimedia Commons)

I'm not the best person to talk about being quick. I don't drive fast. I return books late because it takes a while for me to read them. I hate deadlines. I would rather rest half way up a wall than to do a climb fast. So this past week my sister has been giving me shit for not having found health insurance already. And I don't blame her, especially given that she moved back from the other motherland where she had health care coverage. It is not fun to be in the States without health insurance.

Our hell bent quest to find health insurance this week isn't without a few anecdotal stories from hell. This past few months, there has been a number of unfortunate situations where it reminds me of why this country needs to have basic health coverage for her citizens.

1) The first is a pseudo first person account. Some of the girls and I decided to go out to a club for some basketball player's birthday this past weekend. The place was a swanky looking meat market kind of place: red velvet roped area, big non-matching chandeliers, used to be Boss, strong drinks if you say nice to the bartenders. We arrived too too early and by midnight, sister and I decided to bounce. We went off to a local dive bar and then headed home when we found out sister's bartender friend wasn't working that night. The next day during dinner with the girls, I found out they had spent the rest of the night at the Emergency Room. Turns out one of their friends (female, heels, non-drinker) had been knocked over in the club and ended up breaking/fracturing her jaw at two points. Surgery will be required and all the best wishes goes out to her for a speedy recovery.

2) This is a snowboarding story. I don't remember much of it (I have bad nerves for bloody story) but the gist is that a friend of a friend had fallen on the slopes. The guy behind ran into him with the his board. Realizing his jacket was torn after that, the friend's friend went down to the cabin. There, he complained about back pains and his friends noticed blood running down his back. Turns out the guy behind him had slashed into his back with his snowboard. Emergency Room and good stuff ensued. The friend's friend is in one piece but was definitely shaken by the experience. Still, not a good story

3) Another pseudo first person account: my sister woke up with something up in her eye this morning. We went to the local optometrist down in Chinatown and found out it was conjunctivitis (ie pink eye). She ended up spending 148 dollars for the doctors appointment and drugs. Which isn't bad, but we were worried for a moment that she might require surgery, drugs, etc. that would run up the bill easily.

Sometimes it seems like we're just a bunch of financial test dummies in this country. We're always prone to financial disasters if we don't have medical coverage. And with my poor polling skills, it appears to me that the people with the best coverage are those that are working 9 to 5 jobs. That means that often we're bound to a job because it can gives us comprehensive health coverage. I know I thought long and very hard about that before I left my last job. We can talk about the fundamental problems of the system (people not going to the doctors for preventive care, the basis of our system, employers coverage, etc.). But what I am most worried about are the accidents. Those are the things that we can't control and those are the things that also end up costing the most. We know how much crashing a car will cost, but what about the cost of fixing a broken leg or physical therapy from whiplash? It would completely suck to become a financial burden if an eye infection became something that required a ridiculously expensive in-patient service.

The following are a list of services that I have found for Bay Area folks who are not working full time somewhere (and who is in this economy?) and are also looking for some kind of health coverage. It's sort of a mash up of things that I think I might use or think other people might find helpful. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this whole health care coverage thing, hopefully will find a solution sooner than later. Please comment if you have any suggestions or know of other health care providers!

And speaking of comments, Berkeley Parents Network is a great forum for all kinds of discussions. Although it is Berkeley-centric, it has some interesting articles, like this one on health.

Local:
Asian Health Services - Community Health Center
La Clinica - Alameda, Contra Costa and Solano Counties
Bay Area Consortium - Alameda County
San Francisco Health Plan - San Francisco
Community Clinic Consortium - Contra Costa and Solano Counties
California Pacific Medical Center - San Francisco
Stanford Hospital - Stanford
Seton Medical Center - Daly City
Santa Clara Valley Medical Center - San Jose

California:
Medi-Cal - California's Medicaid program
Healthy Families - Children health care
CalQuits - For smokers who want to quitAIM - Insurance program for mid-income pregnant women

National:
Kaiser Permanente
Anthem/Blue Cross
Freelancers Union
First Health Group Corp. by Coventry Health Care
Find a Health Center - by the Health Resources and Services Administration
Foundation for Health Coverage Education - Health Insurance Eligibility Quiz
WIC - Women, Infants and Children
COBRA

Family, Sexual and Reproductive Health:
Planned Parenthood
Family Pact

Drugs/Pharmeceuticals:
Access2Wellness

Random Useful Sites:
WeConnect - Started by the First Lady of California, Maria Shriver
California Health Plan Ratings
State of California Health Department

Which is Cheaper: Soda or Potato Chips?

2010-03-20T20:14:00.091-04:00

Lay's Classic Potato Chips (via Gawker)

At a recent visit to Ikea, a question was posed: which is cheaper to produce - soda or potato chips? With our limited knowledge of manufacturing processes, Stephen's friend and I argued it out as we stood online to get our dollar cinnamon buns. I contended that making soda was cheaper as the concentrate is mostly made up of derivative ingredients which is then diluted with carbonated water. The opponent insisted it must be potato chips. No particular arguments were given as it was belief based. The Which is Cheaper conversation topic didn't last long.

But there is an even more important point to note: we were arguing between soda and potato chips! This wasn't even an argument between brussel sprouts and barley. We were arguing between fried vegetables and HFCS: Highly Flavored Cheap Soda. And people wonder why we haven't passed Health Care Reform earlier.

Speaking of Health Reform:

Gawker recently wrote about how PepsiCo has successfully altered the molecular structure of salt for their Lay's Potato Chips so that it can more quickly dissolve on an eater's tongue.

What?

Translation: by making salt more soluble on a person's tongue, we will require less salt to actually taste the salt.

Okay, so Wall Street Journal was the one who broke the news (I like my news like my pizza, in bite size!) and there's a much better breakdown of this new salt from WSJ. I guess this is PepsiCo's way of one upping Obama on Health Care Reform by actively seeking a way to label their snack healthy. They actually care about our health!

Yay.

But every person who grew up in or around the Asian culture is thinking one thing: this molecularly altered salt just sounds a lot like MSG.

I wonder how this affects the Which is Cheaper conversation...

Where Would You Go?

2010-03-16T02:19:00.213-04:00

Intersecting lines/lives by The Wandering Angel (Creative Commons via Flickr)

There is a philosophical dilemma centered around trains. The train tracks forks to the left and right. On the left side, there is one person tied to the tracks and on the other is a group of people tied to the tracks. The dilemma is where you will let the train go, as you are standing at the lever control. I forget the details of the train: whether there are people on the train or whether it is a runaway train (thus rendering it impossible to signal the conductor to stop the train?). Students who are confronted with this philosophical dilemma are asked this: Where would you let the train go?

I recently read The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. The book looks at the ancient's ideas of happiness and pairs them with modern, scientific studies. One of the chapter that stuck was the one surrounding morality. Haidt talks about the difference in how we learned moral back then and how we learn morals today. Before, we'd hear fables like The Tortoise & The Hare and learn what are behavior should ideally be. Today, we sit around and 'prop your chin on your fist' ponder over issues that does not require immediate reactions. We philosophize about train tracks. And what is determined by your possible reactions to the hypothetical situation, is supposedly a sign of your character. How we ultimately react to the world is often times independent to how we think we may react to the actual situation. We do no know which track we will let the train go down because the assumption is that we will even react.

We are not Bruce Willis in Die Hard in which we would blow the train up. We are not McGyver who will stick gum on the tracks and stop the train. And neither are we Inspector Gadget where we'd stretch out mechanical arms to save the lone soul right before the train sweeps by the very spot he was laying upon (What? Haven't heard of a gentleman in distress?). There is no moral take away and at the end of the train story, all we know is the percentage of pollsters who also reacted like we did.

So let me propose a new train-based moral dilemma. It is something I recently faced and, as you will see, I haven't quite figured out the ending. The story is this: a Hare is driving home in a car and is stopped on the road by a train crossing. The Hare does not know the length of the train or the roads in the area. The Hare decides to not wait for the entire train to cross and continues to drive to the next crossing. The train had not reached this crossing but as the Hare gets closer, the gates come down and the train crosses. Frustrated but also motivated, the Hare backs up and heads towards the next crossing. As the Hare approaches the third crossing, the Hare realizes that the train has also reached this crossing and it is also a dead end. Unless the Hare wants to drives backward, the other option is for the Hare to wait til the train to pass. As the Hare watched the train, the Hare realized that the train was only several cars long. Soon, the gates went up and the Hare was able to continue on home.

Given the story, is this even a moral dilemma?
If it is, what should the moral take away be?

My Burping

2010-03-11T15:40:00.000-05:00

Argentine Cows (by Marcos Brindicci via REUTERS)

I've had a battle with burping since the summer of 2006. The same summer I was in Berlin. The same summer I started to consume copious amounts of fermented barley. The burping started innocently and then it morphed into an uncontrollable monster! It wasn't too unpleasant or disgusting when I started to burp after meals or from having a stein of beer. But it started to become a problem when I started to burp in the morning while waiting for the bus. You know there's a problem when you're burping to the tune of chirping birds.

The summer continued with lectures, debates and burping. Delicious meals usually ended with a hot cup of burping. Germany lost during the semifinal games to Italy and I burped. As the summer in Berlin rounded out, I decided to curb my beer intake. (Not while I was in Berlin! Are you crazy? When I got back to the States!)

Fall of 2006 marked the beginning of a crazy (sometimes unfounded) purge of food to try to address my incessant burping. My thinking was this: if I did not input certain food into my body, perhaps my body will not output burping. At the beginning it seemed simple and as clear as day. I started by eliminating anything that had yeast. Since I started to notice my burping after drinking beer, I should get rid of anything that had yeast. That meant I stopped eating/drinking:

Beer
Bread

I continued to burp, belch, rout. Giving up beer was hard enough, but beer was not causing the burping and I was determined to figure this out! So with the original hypothesis was wrong, I kept googling and came across the words candida detox. I gave it a try and pretty much stopped eating anything I normally did. My diet narrowed down to salted meats and steamed/stir-fried vegetables. Being in studio didn't help. Sometimes I skipped meals to sleep instead of making this pious meals. The even sadder part: I was still burping.

Ronin 2 (via R & K Events)

One night, while coaxing my computer to spit out a fabulous rendering, I decided to go to sleep. I was burnout, stressed and sleepy and I was burping to the annoyance of my roommates. The next day, after saying a huge fck you to the computer, I decided to mosey. There's not a lot of recollection as to what it is that I did, but the word nothing comes to mind. The most interesting thing that came out of those few hours of non-work was the fact that I didn't burp. I wasn't burping because of the food I was putting into my body. I was burping because of stress!

Looking back, I started to see a correlation between stress and burping. Whenever I'm tired or hungry (both are physical conditions that releases cortisol, the stress hormone) I burp. When I'm under pressure, like getting up in front of people for my final presentation or going to bat at home plate, I burp. My body somehow discovered a new way to exhibit stress while I was in Berlin. It decided on burping.

My gastrointestinal problem hasn't been detrimental to my life. If anything, it's been a strange blessing. Burping like a drunk made me realize how terrible I was at handling stress. Now I've been taking proactive measures to curb my stress levels and handle my stress when I am under pressure.

Find time for myself. This includes: sleeping, lunching, grooming or being mindful.
Eat right. Okay sure, this doesn't affect my stress per se and it sounds like one of those hippy-dippy things people do to make themselves feel better. But honest to truth, eating right does make me feel better therefore lowering my overall stress levels to begin with.
Breathing. Think yoga, meditation or how your body needs it to live, it works wonder!
Touching my toes. This is actually referring to being active. I love working out and getting my heart pumping. It doesn't stress me out and generally, physical activities gets my mind off of stuff.

Marks Sisson, the dude behind The Primal Blueprint, recently wrote in his blog about stress and life. I like his balance between being healthy and mindful while living a modern life. It's a blend of 'I love Mother Nature' and 'Science Rocks' that I can relate to. And yeah, this is my story about burping. There are still moments when I catch myself burping like an idiot. I've accepted that there is no one pill to pop to fix stress or cure burping. But with modern life, there are more complications and I believe our bodies have not learned to deal with external stimuli. Maybe that's how babies feel as they get to know their body.

Sleeping Baby (by LW)

Hiding

2010-03-09T15:18:00.042-05:00

Foggy New York (on my way to Anne's place)

I have a strange desire to hide under warm, dry rocks, where nothing matters. Somewhere where I can see the heat sizzle up off the ground, where fear can disappear. Somewhere where there are no impossible future, a place where merchants spare no alliteration and hyperbole to spin their tales. A place where dust gathers and rain cleans so possibilities can exists. I want to know such a place exist. I know I can't know until I am there.

Cars, City & LA

2010-03-04T11:58:00.001-05:00

taco truck in Los Angeles, CA 1987 (via UCLA Special Collection)

How does our interaction change with the urban environments change with the way the environment is constructed?

Los Angeles has been sprawl's ultimate experiment. Everyone gets a house, car and maps of the highways. Well, maybe not literally maps of the highway, but drivers know the one ways streets and the best routes to get anywhere.

So it's not surprising that LA has been developing and evolving a hyper car landscape with food. What do restaurateurs, with really good food, do in a city that doesn't have centers or neighborhood of activities, but still need to reach out to expand their client base? The put their gourmet selection and drive to different locations throughout the week, keeping their followers up to date with their location via Twitter.

The food truck might not have started in the city of angels but they have definitely taken it beyond the meat sandwiches and ice cream selection. There's a condensed article by GOOD on the food truck revolution. Even with the mobility of the trucks, the food vendors are becoming a hard fixture in the LA landscape. They have representation via the Southern California Mobile Food Vendors Association.

Residents in sprawls are using and interacting with the urban environment differently, their lifestyles are different compared to cities like New York. My architectural question is this: will these sprawl city begin to introduce new architecture and building that reflects the changing lifestyles? Will new buildings begin to accommodate trucks in the future in commercial construction? Will outdoor cafe terrace become truck parking space? Maybe commercial area will transform back to the old market models? Perhaps these transient market spaces will lodge food trucks for a night and then become park space during the day? O the possibilities!

Recipe: Getting What You Want

2010-02-21T15:52:00.002-05:00

Photograph by Nino Barbieri (WikiCommons)

Recipe:
Getting What You Want

Directions:

Put Picture in your head in a Bowl
Mix Picture with a 2c of Life (The best Life can be found at your local Reality)
Add 6tbs Imagination (homemade Imagination recommended)
Throw in three Person you Know very well
Throw in three Person you hope to Meet
Place bowl on a table near a Wall
Connect the Play button to the Picture mixture
Picture should begin to rise and become a Frame. Inside the Frame, your Film will begin to Play
Step into your Film

Advanced Preparation:
The physical impossibility of stepping into a frame is possible.
Don't be afraid to leave, it will be there.
Perhaps next time, it'll be ready for you.

New Year and Strawberry-Rhubarb Pies

2010-02-14T08:00:00.029-05:00

Photo by Luke Robinson (Creative Commons)

My birthday, being in January, occurs at the tale end of the lunar year. It is like the celebration cap to an always amazing year, a party to celebrate me before the family dinners. And I really love Chinese New Year! The mandatory auspicious phrases that are exchanged, excuse to buy new clothes, the purging of the old so we can ring in the new year (or set firecrackers, but that has unfortunately been banned).

So far the new year has kicked off to a beautiful start! People have announced their engagements or have gotten into their school programs. Dinners have been great with the family, even with all the obligatory 'have-you-found-a-job-yet' or 'when-are-you-going-to-bring-home-a-boyfriend' questions. As a side note to anyone endures the immigrant family mentalities: 1) Sorry. 2) It's their way of expressing love. 3) Find your voice and do what you love to do. Make sure it pays because you're going to need capital to move out.

Lavi, O'Leary and the Toomster knows how much floating and decision making took place last year. And although there's a lot of unknowns for this year (school and life), I know this year is going to be great. I'm realizing and slowly addressing the work required of me on building a life here in the Bay. Everything was so much easier in New York: friends, food, traffic, conversation, being me. I now realize why people call me brave when I tell them I moved to NYC by myself. It was like I was fcking fearless. And I am good at. I am good at being fcking fearless and that is what I'll be this year.

Curious that this it also happens to be the year of the tiger (rah). There's a time and place to throw caution at the wind. This is not one of them. Whatever it is that is in store for me, whether that is school or finding some obscure job/internship somewhere, I know I'm going to love doing it.

Fck the lemons and lemonade. I'm making blueberry smoothies and strawberry-rhubarb pies.

Happy New Year everyone!

Spoon Me!

2010-02-10T13:04:00.011-05:00

Scanning Electron Micrograph of a Flea (via WikiBooks)

This year is one of the rare years where February lasts a little longer, a full day, a cool 24 hours. The grass brightens up a bit from the longer daylight hours. The extra day in the month is like a nudge to procrastinate. In my quest to master the art of idleness, I have found income-generating things to do, resulting in some degree of responsibilities that I have to follow through with.

Ugh.

But it's February, the clouds can lazily linger longer in the sky. And I'll avoid my research on demolition permits for as long as I can. At least until the fleas start to bite my legs off.

Yes, since Dog's death, the fleas have turned their attention on me. They are incessant and irritating. I haven't had a good night's rest as these jerks began to feast on my legs. Now there are unseemly red bumps on my leg. Yukkers. I was treating this like a bed bug problem but just last night, I caught sight of these jumping jackasses as they were dining on my arm. While I was still awake!

So like any well adjusted person who grew up in the Bay Area during the dot-com boom, I looked this up on the google. I am in an all out war with these buggers and here are a few things that have proven successful thus far and additional steps I'm planning on taking:

1) Someone on the blogosphere suggested filling a plate/tin-pan with lemon scented liquid detergent and then shining a light on it. I did that before I went to bed and I've caught a few already! Going to set these contraptions up in every room Dog spent time in and see whether detergent with a stronger lemon scent works better.

2) ~~Boraxed/Salted the carpets. Change bags frequently as adult fleas can crawl out or put moth balls in the sweeper bag.~~

3) Bought some potent lavender scented mothball-like sachets from the local hardware store. These are packets for an enclosed space, like trunks or clothing bags. Planning on sticking a few of them in the car while I'm away on my trip. Hopefully pulverize those suckers

4) Still haven't quite figured out how to handle 'growth'. The web emphasized using something to regulate the growth of the flea. Haven't found anything yet so I'm skipping this step.

5) Fogger'd the living beh-gee-zus out of the house.

Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll sleep better.

Ew, I got a bite behind my ear.

*Since the I fogged the rooms, I have slept like a baby. I haven't seen any additional flea bites but did get a fatass mosquito bite on my ankle.
Fleas: 0, Mosquito: 1, L: .5

Abari

2010-02-01T20:05:00.005-05:00

Abari (via Abari)

My friend Nripal Adhikary is one of the many faces behind Abari. Abari, or the Adobe and Bamboo Research Institute, is a leading research and design firm in Nepal. They have proven that modern technology and vernacular architecture can do well to complement each other, working in tandem. The work at Abari has not been constricted to the construction of schools and homes, they have also developed and exported technology to treat bamboo that can be effectively and economically adapted for use in other developing nations.

Social committed and environmental aware, Abari knows what they can achieve locally in Nepal is affecting larger global issues. They are taking Rene Dubois' idea of 'Think globally, act locally' to another level. It is an extreme honor to know such an amazing individual who is part of such a transformative firm.

Abari is currently one of the top runners for the Dell Social Innovation Competition. You can help support Abari in their quest by logging on and voting for them at this link.

The following is a comment left by Mec on the competition website. He puts into much better words the work of Abari:

Although much bamboo and adobe are used throughout the Terai plains and the Himalaya foothills little is treated for durability against rot and insects, few are the experts in their use for residential and commercial construction, and poor is the technical quality of both raw bamboo and adobe mixes. ABARI is currently one, if not the only, organization in Nepal that has acquired-knowledge and an active research program to build on that knowledge. Housing the poor in affordable, structurally robust and environmentally sustainable ways is a high priority. Currently it is an unfulfilled expectation of North American donors who micro-finance or donate cash to housing programs. When the ABARI vision is realized the fabrication and sale of dependable bamboo components will create a hitherto non-existant for-profit industry. Bamboo & adobe technical know-how will freely flow to those most in need in communities throughout Nepal and beyond its borders. The Dell Award is a necessary catalyst.

We can all make the world a greener place!

Tuxedo White Lies

2010-01-30T23:48:00.006-05:00

Dog when we first got her

Dog has been with us for almost 14 years. That complete jerk has peed and pooped everywhere. From the old house to the new house to the other new house. Even with her incessant barking and constant food begging, we couldn't help but to love her. So when she got sick this past month, we didn't think much of it. But when her not eating, diarrhea, trouble getting up kept up into the new year, we knew something was up.

I came home after a day of running errands. Besides the parking ticket I got earlier that morning in Berkeley, it was another leisurely afternoon in the East Bay. Dog was sitting in the yard, looking rather serenely at her domain. I walked over to give her a scratch behind the ears. She was warm from a day of sun bathing. I asked her whether she wanted some munchies. I took her silence as a nod so I went inside to prepare her lunch. The past few days I've been making this strange mix of dog food and pumpkin puree to entice her to eat. Its success rate had been better than the other concoctions I drummed up for her. So with bowl in hand, I went out to feed her. But where I last saw her was not where she was. Knowing her condition, I knew she could not have gone far.

I have to admit that I did not spend a lot time with Dog during her lifetime. After leaving for Holland and then New York, I wasn't there. I can only imagine what filled her day. What was she doing when she ran away from home? What was she looking for the second time she ran away? Where did she go for cover to shield from the rain? Who did she meet? How did she find her way back? There are so many unknown stories, so many things I will never know. Granted, it's Dog and I don't speak canine. But even if we were to assume that I had Dug's collar on Dog, there might be stories she wouldn't tell.

It makes me think of all the unknown stories out there, and all the ones in my life that will be unknown. All the stories mom and dad has yet to tell us about themselves. Maybe that's why I keep hearing the same stories over and over again. Some stories don't exist beyond that one moment. Some stories we try hard to forgive or forget. Some stories are exhibited in our character. If we're lucky, we'll have a handful of timeless stories to share. It's like time and memory was fundamentally made to make life appear rosier post factum. Because I don't think of the times Dog pooped/peed/barked. Those are not my first thoughts when I think of her. And instead I'll reminisce on those dog gone good times.

So the story will be this: when I got home, Dog was sitting in the yard.
When I got back with her food, she was gone.
I did not find her tangled in the weeds.
She did not fall over the retaining wall.
I did not watch her take her last breath.
Her eyes were not open.
I do not still hear her bell.

Death is life and not living. It is when we want time to stop and for reality to not be true. It is where mundane tasks takes paramount strength to accomplish and distraction takes precedent. It is how our character hold up in the face of life unraveling. It is how we continue when we could give in to the ending end. It is faith that we will not be forever down. It is the white light. It is rebirth. It is truths, falsehoods and all the tuxedo white lies in between.

Terrible things happen in life.
No one ever said life was ever going to be easy.
So what does one do when lemons are all you got?

Be resilient.
Make lemonade.
Build a stand.
And sell those puppies like tomorrow didn't exist.

In My Perfect World: How an Interview with the Grads Schools Would Go

2010-01-10T15:50:00.019-05:00

Alternate Space (by LW)

I've been freaking out about the grad school.
Will I get in?
What if I don't?
Do I really want be in this "100k of debt which is why I am eating Nissan Ramen post 20s" predicament which I'm currently digging for myself?

In no way am I trying to say "woe is me". I have a roof over my head, food on the table, toilet I can flush. There are worst situations I could be in. But this is one of the most aggravating situations this little person has been in (quick history lesson: I didn't put myself through this kind of psychological warfare during my undergraduate college applications. Life was so much simpler then!)

So before I completely ditch my last hopes of getting into college, before I drown my sorrows in a bag of potato chips, I am escaping to my world of day dreams. The following is the transcript of the interview between the Grad School and L.

Because this is how my world rolls.

Date: Imaginary
Location: In my head

Grad School: Hi, good morning L!
L: Good morning to you too, Grad School!

GS: How are you? It’s so nice you can come in for this interview on such a short notice!
L: O the flight was short, it's my pleasure to be here! How is everything going with you?

GS: Good, it can always be better. This time of year is usually the busiest for us.
L: I can only imagine! I’m glad I can be here to help expedite this process then!

GS: [chuckle] Yes, indeed. So L, tell me about yourself. What’s your background?
L: I grew up in the Bay Area in Oakland, California.

GS: Ah yes, the Bay Area. A beautiful place!
L: Isn’t it? San Francisco is such a beautiful city. But I have to insist, Oakland has the best views from the Hills. Sitting there watching the sun set behind San Francisco is phenomenal. Even though Oakland has a reputation of crime and ghettos, it's actually a great city and place to grow up. I went through the public school system and I turned out fine (except for the occasional desire to not conjugate my verbs). It was very empowering to grow up around people who are directly affecting the Oakland community or working to improve our planet. I spent my senior year abroad in the Netherlands and that was when I fell in love with architecture.

GS: I spent a bit of time in Amsterdam myself, it’s an absolutely stunning country.
L: [clap] Indeed! It’s very hard not to appreciate that country. The landscape, architecture. It's provincial and provocative at the same time. The landscape also made me realize how the built environment can affect people. And I saw how Oakland physically can become a better place for its community. And after spending a year in the Netherlands, it was even harder not get into design and I decided to study architecture formally.

GS: And that's when you decided to move to New York?
L: Yes, I decided to move to New York to study architecture. In my 7 years studying and being in the practice, I realize architecture has many great benefits. It's a highly under appreciated (and compensated) field. At _ _ _, my last office, we worked with communities groups to help them design and built housing. It was the kind of work I wanted to do but the scope and scale of it wasn't. I felt like I was on the right track though, but I was just wasn't working in the right niche.

GS: So, graduate work in urban planning is following in the footsteps of your interests in architecture?
L: Yes, I’m getting into urban planning for the same reason why I got into architecture. Our built environment is the most direct way our public sphere affects people. I've already studied the building and construction aspect of it, graduate work will be an opportunity to study the built environment in its other respects: economy, transportation, infrastructure.

GS: What's your interests in water?
L: I'm interested in water management in infrastructure and natural water systems. In my thesis design, one of the major component I explored with my project was how to naturally remediate grey water with systems like the Living Systems. And how to inject the water back into the natural water cycle. The site was in the South Bronx and the existing built environment had been so heavily developed, that the water cycle did not exist. So instead, remediated water was reused for agricultural purposes in greenhouses and open rooftop gardens. I want to explore water management and infrastructure, alternates to the way we've been managing our water resource and how we can bring natural water cycles closer to or within the urban environment.

GS: Have you explored this outside your thesis?
L: I took a course on constructed wetlands for waste water treatment, so I'm certified to set up a domestic constructed wetlands. These systems are highly effected in treating our waste water. It is a natural process except the processes are accelerated. I believe there is room to redevelop urban environments to make room for such natural systems in the city to work for us. Water's a very important resource and it's also a limited resource. If there are opportunities to conserve, better manage and treat our water, they need to be taken.

GS: What are your objectives and goals at the Grad School?
L: My goal is to finish the _ _ _ specialization and the _ _ studies...

GS: What makes you a good fit for the Grad School?
L: Growing up in the Bay Area, you realize the world sometimes has to work top down and sometimes it has to work bottoms up. There can be good ideas and it must work for people. The Grad SChool is a technologically innovative school and it also values the social values of technology. The balance between this social emphasis and innovation is what attracts me to the school and program. And why I know the Grad School would be a good fit for me.

GS: What will you do professionally?
 L: I aim to work for regional planning agencies and in advocacy to communicate ideas behind the built environment. At the regional planning level, I will work between policy and redevelopment projects towards a sustainable and accessible urban environments. Working with community groups made me realize the difficulties and complexities in communication. Good ideas are passed up because people get caught in a detail of the project or do not understand the scope. And this is further complicated with the incredibly large and long term scale of urban planning. Some of the most successful projects went beyond listening to the communities needs. It was a dialogue between community and professionals. I can help bridge between the planning groups and stakeholders in urban planning.

GS: You think you can do all that?
L: [dazzling smile] Absolutely.

Something keeping my smile rightside "Up", Upular remixed by the Australian DJ, Pogo:

How do ninjas and architecture go together?! Find out via archi-ninja!

Easy Green Peasy Guide to Life

2010-01-06T21:31:00.006-05:00

Granted, it's Anne rockin the xmas tree...but people, the photog has a green element!

Besides the fact that January is the month of my birthday (Glee soundtrack and a delicious bowl of ramen are both at the top of my wish list), January is also the month of new beginnings. Everyone's optimistic, the troubles of time past now appear surmountable, that 10pound weight lost is already at hand!

And so, to celebrate new beginnings, I thought I might sum up the "Easy Green Peasy Guide to Life." Because it is so easy and everyone can remember these things. Although important thing to note is that this is more like a 'beginners' guide' than a 'one stop shop.' These are things you can do locally and doesn't yet begin to address the global green issues. If you want to read a great article on global green issues, check out Post Carbon Institute's article on The Next Decades's Top Sustainability Trend. This is for the everyday. I am the eternal optimist and believe every person can contribute to change!

So here it is ladies and gent!

Easy Green Peasy Guide to Life:

1) Health: Eat Right, Exercise!
The easiest way to be green is to be healthy!
Know what kind of food you're putting into your body.
And if you're feeling gutsy, make your own meals.

2) Trash: One Man's Trash...
Unless it's infested with bedbugs, someone might need it.
Donate to your local Salvation Army!
And if you're feeling gutsy, shop at your local Salvation Army!

3) Food: Yes, In My Back Yard!
Support local farmers!
Grow things in your back yard!
And if you're feeling gutsy, compost!

4) Diversify!
This is an all inclusive mantra to many respect of our life.
• Diversify in how we move! Doesn't mean stop driving, just diversify! Bike, walk, train, drive, bus, fly or horse if possible!
• Diversify in where we shop for things! Whether that means shopping at big-box or mom&pop.
• Diversify in what we eat! Because that's why we have seasonal recipes to begin with. Salad in the winter still makes as much sense as lamb stew in the summer.
• Diversify our thinking! Because no side is ever completely right or honest. Broaden our thoughts!

5) Party!
There is nothing less green than not knowing how to party! It is one of the tenants of being green! Getting together with people and enjoying each other's company, builds community. And in my book, that's green! This is just a lifestyle choice, like being vegetarian or carnivorous. So why not make a party out of it? It follows all the above mentioned 'easy green peasy guide'
• Hit up local bars or bring it to your backyard!
• Have a beer made from a local producer or a wine from a local vineyard. If neither exists, make your booze!
• Do a dance party!
• Ask friends to bring their favorite dish!
• Instead of a sound-system, live music!
• Carpool!
• Make it a clothing swap!

Afterwords:
If you're already doing all of the above and want to take that extra step, Do The Green Thing is the place to go! They put much more eloquently (and graphically inspiring) their 7 steps to being green.

Do the Green Thing

And if you're feeling gutsy, some more modern lifestyle suitable tips from Grist's online Green Guide or the book if you must have it.

Of course we could just do the easy New Years Resolution like Monina Velarde's Resolution Generator. But come on! With this green thing, one thing is obvious: It's too easy to not to do anything!

2010 is going to be rocking!

December is Foggy: Remembering a Friend

2009-12-21T17:12:00.007-05:00

December's a complex month. It's too cold to socialize, too dark to be happy. When I was working full time at OCV, I found myself choosing to stay in than bundling up to brave the chilly winds of the City. And during school, December was the month of finals and presentations. Everyone's busy getting things glued, rendered or drawn, throwing everything and the kitchen sink in the last stretch before winter break. When all is said and done, I'm usually on a rushed flight back to California for a short holiday break.

So even thought it's been nice and warm here in California, I haven't been venturing and cozily staying in hibernation mode.

December has also become associated with death. Or more specifically, the end of a semester. It was a Friday, the day after final presentations when I got a call from mom telling me grandma had passed away the night before. It was an expected death, as the entire Wan extension had flown into Oakland the month before to hang out with grandma. I remember learning from my sister that our grandma may have had relations with the Japanese soldiers during the occupation. Wish I had known that story earlier so I could have asked a few more questions.

Then there was another Friday afternoon, this time in December 2004. Also the day after final presentations. The snow hadn't fallen yet and it wouldn't show up until after Christmas. I just made myself a pb&j sandwich, about to get some non-thinking action on. My phone rang and it was Elizabeth, sobbing. I never knew Elizabeth to be one to cry. She couldn't start her sentence and for anyone who knows Elizabeth, she always know how to start her sentences. I then got the news that our friend Koby had committed suicide the night before. My brain did not function for a few weeks. I didn't cry until Christmas. I still think about him during this season.

Koby was truly an amazing soul and unfortunately I do not have better words to describe someone who had meant so much to me. He made me a more open person and at the same time more guarded. So maybe I'm where I started, except I'm now more aware of it? During that last month, Koby and I made plans to watch a movie after finals. I stayed in New York that winter and he couldn't come see me until January. I think we would have ended up watching a beautiful film from some obscure director or a comedy. It's funny now that I think about it. I don't like making plans to see movies at theatres. If only I knew more about psychology, I'm sure there's something happening between my subconscious, judgment and subjective perception.

I would be lying if I said I didn't like December. It's one of my favorite months. Cheesy holiday romantic comedies, trees strung with lights, the music, the excuses to get together with friends. Even the cold and dreary weather's nice because I know I'll be looking forward to Spring. Everything has to be still before we start up again.

An Open Letter to a Friend:

i'd ask to turn the clocks back
to a time when we ruled the streets
persuading me against my common sense
carrying bags of booze in our sneaks

go to where the clocks run backwards
to the bangs and scissors
to the spoken words forgiven
to the last man who wasn't worth those rivers

we'll see the snowflakes falling
on a dark night illuminated
by yellow street lamps neon and pink
primary colors unfaded

gapped tooth and hairy chests
milkshakes and cologne scents
wish i could make new memories
instead of reminisce

while i wish for what i can't have
i'll remember what i do
life conversations crazy love present future perfect tense
every one perfect moments with you

Why Architects Can't Have Online Portfolios

2009-12-14T18:20:00.013-05:00

The genius just launched her photog website the other day! It was quite the celebratory day! She's officially a professional freelancer: hustling, bustling and all them jazz fingers!

It got me thinking about putting up my stuff. Online, on a neat little web/html format. If it actually existed, it would look fabulous (naturally), and no music (because imposing music on another person is rather rude).

But that's also with a big 'IF' because as most of my architects in the making friends will know, putting up her/his work online would mostly only showcase their digital skills. How would a person digitally demonstrate that they can skillfully navigate through the hells of DOB? There are not enough words to display the patience of an architect who will put up with clients who want to hang mirrors 'to enlarge the space' (cough ahem cough).

These are many more intangible characteristics that are part of the architect's role. Alas, a digital portfolio will more often tell a prospective employee that you can 3D render/revit/photoshop/indesign. And doing those tasks will just relegate you to the role of graphic artist. Which is fine, if you like it. A side note to architectural interns doing those tasks: graphic artists/renderers typically gets paid fairly well.

Why did I mention prospective employee versus prospective clients? Because getting clients is that takes time, a longstanding relationship and previously completed projects. That last bit is usually the most difficult to show, especially someone who's fresh in the field. In the projects that I worked on during the 5 years and 4 offices since I started Cad Monkeying:
Completed: Chinatown Kiosk - I got in late in the game and couldn't prevent the dragon from being stuck in the roof
Unknown: School construction projects - that's how tax payer dollars are spent
In Construction: Supportive Housing - too many years (caroline, the second floor walls went up before I left)
In Construction: Affordable Housing - 1 pending CO, 1 had structural changes during foundation, 1 pending DOB approval
Halted: Green Project - money issue
In Construction: Pretty condo in Tribeca

I officially still have 0 project to my name. This is beyond sadness. This imaginary website would have fanciful renderings from student years and loads of construction documents. I would be advertising myself as a graphic designer than a builder.

On a side note: I made myself a promise while I was driving back to California that I would make up my carbon footprint from using all that gas driving across the states. Currently trying to figure out two things:
1. What bike do I get? Thinking of this one or this one or this one. I wish I was cool enough to ride this one.
2. How do I actually calculate this?! 3,400 miles, 150 gallons of gas...there must be an excel sheet out there that has the answer!

Finally, as everyone knows, I'm applying to grad school for urban planning. Pretty excited about it, the applications are doing well. Here's a quick list of the schools I'm applying to. The ^ schools are complete. Hopefully I'll get the next two out by the end of this week! In no significant order:
^ UC Berkeley
^ UI Urbana-Champaign
- MIT
- Harvard
- Wageningen
- UPenn
- University of Oregon
- University of Washington
- University of Virginia

I went through a hell of a month in November putting my thoughts together. Somehow, when I'm required to write properly, no meaningful ideas passes through my brain. C'est la vie. I've been secretly passing judgment on the schools based on how they reply to my emails and questions. Sure, I'm in no position to judge (yet!) but some of the questions I ask are simple 'please clarify' questions. It is my polite way of saying 'your website has just given me four different answers, please let me know which is correct.' Of course we can go into a philosophical discussion on whether all the options are correct. But I know you won't be discussing that when my application appears to be incomplete during your admissions committee's deliberation on my admissions to your school.

Haven't gotten over my country music phase, so it might be sticking around! I have Lady Antebellum's It's cold outside on repeat.

But it's not as cold as Chicago!
:)

Felices Fiestas everyone!

Did East Bay Express Read My Post?!

2009-12-06T02:04:00.004-05:00

Nah, I highly doubt it.

But I am tickled by their newly formatted website.
It's not sparkly but at least I don't want to run away from it.

Back to writing convincingly.
1 of 5 done!
Exciting!

Genius in the Family

2009-11-25T23:23:00.048-05:00

step hen and i have this history of great conversations only on our drive to and from sfo. it's like when you're on the subway and you know you'll be there for 40minutes and that's why you bring your library books/twilight series. the same idea. one of the conversation that i remember having with him was in matters relating to the heart. not sure what spawned the convo. we were dialoging back and forth and then it came up. tada.

"what are you looking for?"
"balance."
"like opposites attract?"
"not really."
"then like buttresses that supports a building before it goes off kilter?"
"kind of."
"yin and yang?"
"you could say that."

suffice it to say, his answer confused me at the time.

this last month has been extra distracting especially in matters relating to the heart.
the situation: i went on a date earlier in the month.
the verdict: meh.
the lesson learned: if the things you care about (conversation, choice in furniture, candor) isn't up to par, shit's not going to get any better.

looking back on the conversation with step hen, i've changed my opinion about his answer. this change of opinion is part of a series of events that's been playing itself out since august, that will hopefully solidified itself into a new mantra. they're mostly reminders from family and friends in my life and new friends I recently met.

from step hen who reminds me that life is too awesome and too sweet
from caroline who's my daily reminder that everything will work out
from my wingman who reminded me that i'm after love not lust
from dj who demands that i be a better me
from cad who won't let me forget i deserve better
from my new best friend who reminded me of my goals in life

and at the end of the day, we are amazing people
powerful
beyond measure
and don't shrink (because that would mean to not shake what yo mama's gave you)
from your light
because who am you not to?
who are you not to ask?
who are you not to question?
who are you not to demand?
who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson

Happy Thanksgiving!

Update: Fall 2009

2009-11-11T10:06:00.207-05:00

Cad's been pleasantly surprised that i do very little throughout the day. The art of idleness can be difficult to understand and equally hard to master. C'est la vie! Especially given that most everyone I come across tells me to be productive and successful. Sitting around thinking and writing doesn't fit too neatly into being productive and successful.

Fuck them.

So yes, my primary occupation of late has been to write my statement of intent, running graphics and drawings for ecocity, hanging out with the dog, catching up on belated writing projects, running errands, getting acquainted with the Bay Area, trying to get across to my mom the importance of composting, etc. It's been really fun :)

And in the midst of this scrambling, I haven't been painting a nice picture of what's been happening. Pictures are worth a thousand words but I haven't been keeping a good records of things since I made the switch to digital. I was soo good with analog! But that's when I tap into the people around me who are amazing photographers, and borrow their medium to convey some events and thoughts that have come to pass!

EcocityBuilders have been my second most important occupation of late. It's been an absolute riot working with Kirstin and Awesome Colleague Jane at the office and meeting everyone else at West Coast Green couple of weeks back, including Sven who's the owner of these photos.

West Coast Green Charette

Village Bottoms Tour

And when Eugeniaman isn't busy with doing her own work at her office, she's working with Sarah of Modern Kids Photography. It's so super cute what they do! Although things that can't support their own head still scares the crap out of me, the kids who walk and talk are so adorable!

Modern Kids Blog

Step hen sent this out recently, how Americans perceive the world. This was one of the first conversations I had when I got to the Low-Lands, it was nice to have this sent to me from him.

The World According to Americans

As all things must end where it begins, I must end with a conversation I had with Cad while browsing Ikea for fun's sake. She did not know who Glenn Beck was. That was the conversation. Politics now seems like another aspect of our paparazzi culture: who said what, who did what, who did who. And that's why I really like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, good old fashion sarcasm with a happy dose of current events. And I still can't believe you've never heard of Glenn Beck.

The Daily Show

The Original "Try-Out Love Words"

2009-11-09T16:37:00.006-05:00

I found my notebook that I wrote the original 'Try-Out Love Words', it was housed in between my GRE study section and statement of purpose notes. I clearly like to use unfinished note books. Hm...I shouldn't read more into that statement.

For reference's sake, here's the one I posted earlier, a scavenged remake.

Happy First Weekday of the Week!

pen scribbling across the page to no end
the rough draft making no sense
and all i have are unfinished sentences
broken punctuation marks
try out love words, in this first draft love story
on sketchy, coffee stained beer coasters
written by butterfly-filled, upset stomachs
these words, snap-shots, get cataloged
it's all the stupid text messages sent

when they actually make it past my lips
trying to give shape to these try out love words
kindled by panic resolution
the girl singing, the boy singing
hoping for clear cell phone reception
listening over again to your messages
to your liquid courage fueled song
of try-out love words
when i find myself sitting alone
wishing you would break down
a rhapsody in person for me
strong and clear eyed

when i’m at the point of losing my mind
when its better to dump my heart upside down
when all i have are these imprecisely concise thoughts
when there’s more to lose not having you
when i wish i had more than try-out love words for you
i say it
i shut up
i wait
i regret
i take back
i wait
see where these try-out love words have led me
hoping to turn these try out love words to a true love story

An Open Letter to East Bay Express: Please Represent

2009-11-04T17:29:00.020-05:00

Dear East Bay Express,

I recently moved back to the East Bay after a bit-o-time on the East Coast. It was nice getting back into the groove of things here in the Bay Area. Things to do, places to see, delectables to taste and local news to follow. I was so excited when colleague Jane mentioned you guys. 'You have to subscribe to them, now!' And indeed I did. It was fun reading it the first time. Found out about some cool beer events, wasn't surprised about the Oakland BART/wasting money situation, it was good.

But the layout got old, fast. I mean, the layout for the newspaper is fine, there's really not much to complain about: right size text, less ads than a vogue magazine, the picks section could be better highlighted (larger text, heavier line for the box, color it pink?), would be nice if free events were marked (better facilitates browsing for the NGO interns or recently unemployed) and maybe include some ridiculous horoscopes?

They're funny.

I like to work from home whenever possible (saves gas) and I don't always read the hardcopy of the EBE. And more and more I find myself browsing through the online edition. The word browsing is key here, because that is all I find myself doing now. I couldn't take the mess I was faced with anymore. So the aesthetically inclined me left the articles to itself and went through the articles after picking up a hardcopy while downtown today.

The site is a mess, please fix it.
Here are a few thoughts:

1) Fix the Restaurant/Events Search engine
I want to be able to find restaurants with multiple criteria, and going through the search engine one singular option at a time is a waste of time and patience. Couldn't I pick $ and $$ for Cambodian and Italian in all of Berkeley and parts of Oakland?

2) Add links
I really like your Best Of section but it's a pain to browse through that. I don't know where the best bartender works if you only include his name. And you guys have these really nice profiles of restaurants and places, wouldn't it be handy if say a link for Mariposa was offered when you're mentioning Mariposa?

3) 1:1
Please change the 1:1 space ratio between the articles and ads. Yes, I know advertisers need their space. There must be a balance between aesthetics and funding you can strike, perhaps? Suggesting: 5:3

4) Ads
Seriously, they're on the top, side bar and bottom of the page. I know they have to be there, but please, please, leave ads out of the articles. The blinking ad hurts my eye.

5) Search Engines
What's up with the three search engine? Seriously, I think there's more but I'm not going to go there. If I'm searching, I'm assuming I'll be looking through the archives of some kind. And if I wanted to do an advance search, a link to an advanced search engine would be readily available. So I'm not sure why I need to have one for regular searching, another for archival searching and then another button on the web page for advance searching. And then I find another 5 options under the advance search link. (Although overly engineered, the advanced search engine page is pretty nifty!)

6) Blogs
If this is an ongoing blog, with no particular subject matter, lay it out so I can get a glimpse of the blog link I'm getting myself into like this one versus this one.

7) Extras/Info/Tools/Services
Why are these buttons here? And it doesn't make sense that they only show up on certain pages. If they're that important to take up space, then put it on every page. Or better yet, lay it out horizontal under your main selections.

8) Text Size
There are these wonderful links at the top of the page for News, Arts & Culture and so forth, but I can't see them. And then while I'm reading the articles, I feel like a third grader with the large prints (Sorry to any third graders who may be reading this, it was either you guys or the kindergartners). Can there be a balance between these?

9) Most Popular Stories/Most Commented links
Youtube's done it. The NYTimes has done it. Yes, that might make us all lemmings, but I want to know what other people think about the things I'm reading. I want to also read things that are important to the East Bay.

I'm not about making the EBE turn into the NYMag (it is swanky, though). Far beyond it. My most important point is accessibility to this trove of information that you guys have on the going-abouts in the East Bay and making that information readable on the website. There's The Stranger, the Portland Mercury and the Chicago Reader and there's a plethora of websites out there for inspiration (google and you will find it). Maybe you guys recently underwent an overhaul of the webpage or you guys are about to do it. Perhaps all of these idiosyncrasies of your online page is what makes it Easy Bay Express, that people are okay with going through tedious search listings when we're less than 35 miles from the cataloging capital of the world. Perhaps in this land of open-mindedness, we've come to accept only so much from non-profit oriented organizations. And it is possible that there are no funding or the staff to handle a revamped website.

I am available for consultation, but then again, I barely have my own proper web page! But seriously, this is really a two fold issue: pragmatism and representation. If a easily accessible site is available, more people will come to it. More traffic equals higher revenue or asking price from advertisers. And more traffic also means news of the East Bay is getting out and that we're being representing by the East Bay Express. So represent the East Bay, East Bay Express! There are so many cultural, historical and contemporary importance and vibrancy here in this area, this place! We got arts, education, Van Jones, Pixar, Village Bottoms, Silicon Valley (you know they all don't live down there), grassroots movements, the best views, reputations that spans hippie-dom to ghetto. You guys really shouldn't look like classified ads listings or mobile news page. The Easy Bay is not old school like that.

Please represent.

Sincerely Yours,
Elle

PS. Can you include weekly fun articles, like Best Place to Make Out or Best Beaches for Bonfires or Map of Free Street Parking Throughout the East Bay. Just a thought.

Good Stories to Tell

2009-10-23T01:16:00.014-04:00

When I Grow Up...I want to be a Ballerina (via curly_exp( l)osure)

Little kid’s are incredible. Not just their unending amount of energy and the darn things they’ll say. It’s their capacity to dream that makes them so much cooler than adults. Yes, their sweet capacity to imagine shit, is what makes them beyond cool. They have all these amazing notions, desires, things to see/touch/smell/do/eat, dreams! Kids will look you in the eye and whisper ‘I have a monkey tail’ and then wag it in your face. Take over the world? No problem! Stay up late? Mom said I have to go to sleep.

Every kid had a ‘when I grow up, I’m going to be...’ sentence. No additional effort necessary. Although Gregpeacock recently shared that he didn’t have these inclinations from his childhood. I was too speechless to say ‘Bullshit.’

But then there's this period between kids and adults called growing up that fucks us up a bit. Hormones, societal hierarchies, cash and standardized tests happens. We apply to school, get drunk, work, fall in love, get drunk, pay debt, get our hearts broken, find hobbies, get a cat, discovery our lactose intolerance. And just like that, we’re grown.

In that process of growing inches, sometimes dreams are forgotten. It happens like shit happens. I had this image of myself as a journalist or writer in 6th grade. That year the teachers went on strike, something about pay. And I remember writing my heart out in the absence of a regular curriculum. But mom insisted I think of my future in terms of financial success. It also didn't help that I couldn't pronounce 'exit' properly (long story, I'll tell you in person). With that, my six-grade mind decided away writing. Perhaps these past few years of faux-blogging has been a physical manifestation of this desire to write.

Just perhaps.

It's been really calming to have this time to piece together grad school arguments. I feel like a kid right before the dodge-ball teams are selected, trying to show the right amount of cool and enthusiasm so they know you want them to want you, but not too much to scare them off. And definitely showing off the kicks for style points. Some of these statement of intent wants you to lay out your goals, what are you going to do with this? What are your dreams and how will this piece of paper help you achieve that? The philosopher side of me put together some thoughts about dreams.

Rule #1: one can pursue dreams without putting their life on hold, dreams are not life's pause buttons. Unless there are extraordinary circumstances, we continue to live life regardless of what extracurricular activities we choose to pursue. We'll still need to eat, sleep, breath, communicate, make love, have fun, stress out & gastrointestinally digest. Whether one chooses to ignore it or face it, time will continue to pass and so will life. It is everything else in life that isn't necessary.

Rule #2: dreams are not just the moment in which you accomplish it. They are the stories about the struggles, disappointments and successes leading up to it, whatever it is.

Rule #3: dreams are not one-sided. This is my personal philosophy. I believe in hard work, the pursuit of happiness, 'if you want it go get it', but all things in moderation because there are other people involved in your dream. It isn't just about you. Whatever it is that we're after, it shouldn't hurt the people we love or ourselves. I know this comes from knowing Koby and something something my sister taught me as well (and I don't know how that happened!).

For the longest time, I've had this fear that if I achieve something, it will be tragically taken away from me. And my pragmatic mind decided that the best way to counter this fear is to not achieve at all, don't go after dreams. Just sit tight and breath. Simple solution, straight to the point. If there is nothing to go for or dreams to pursue, then there will be no feeling of lost when its not achieved.

And that's Bullshit (check that capital B on that Bullshit?). And this leads me to...

Rule #4: So maybe nothing will come from trying so hard for a dream, but at least get a good story out of it.

Owl City: Fireflies

On being Nice: Liz Danzico

hustling

2009-10-15T03:04:00.001-04:00

the bet's set
the gates, closed

a jack rabbit on speed
nothing to lose, go

midwest is calling

2009-09-28T11:46:00.007-04:00

ever since i went with sklaar to the brooklyn flea way back, the midwest's been coming up again and again, especially Detroit (check out Creatively Destroyed).

incident one: freaking beautiful photographs of detroit not even sure how i came across that link...

incident two: met bob when he gave me and sklaar a lift in his shiny vehicle. the conversation naturally went from mustard/chocolate spread for breakfast to why detroit needs stimulus money to how the auto industry needs to be reconfigured to manufacture parts for mass transit.

incident three: vermont had a surplus of michigonians. two of the three professors had roots in michigan, two of the interns were from michigan and detroit just kept crawling back into the conversations.

incident four: getting back to my usual internetting at work, came across this article.

incident five: asked for advice about surfing at far-rockaway, got it from a detroitian.

incident six: my flight on midwest airlines detoured me to wisconsin on my way to alabama. yay for american logic, but more importantly, they had chocolate chip cookies for me! best flight ever! (no, i'm not a cheap date, but resolutions may be founded over a box of ccc)

incident seven: i drove through it and didn't think it was that bad. okay, so this isn't really any 'incident' as one cannot avoid the midwest when one is traversing the country. but the point here is that i didn't hate the midwest after driving through it!

incident eight: while at a comedy show with lisapatel, the line-up was 5:2 midwest:not-midwest (although, i was in chicago...) and you know what, best stand-up comedy show ever!

incident nine: looking into going to school in the midwest and damn it looks tempting!

the midwest's calling.
i think i'm going to get shit about this from someone in the pacific northwest.

other thoughts:
1) the things you can learn from calm people
2) working on revamping ECB's website and just wanted to mentioned how much i like MadeByMany. i've personally emailed this link to several persons already. it's not even that special, but i'm sold by the individual water colors of their contributors!

the boxes

2009-09-25T02:46:00.003-04:00

Everything's still in boxes. My new york life that I boxed into a pontiac g6 is everywhere. I drove cross country just to have these boxes scattered from the garage, through the foyer, sumptously taking up space on the floor of my room. It's been a month and boxes are still everywhere. I've skimmed only the top layer of winter clothes out of my winter clothes suitcase, for crying out loud! I know i don't need any of it and could just as easily stack the suitcase in the garage. But instead it sits, the suitcase, in my way. Instead i waste my time on starting a compost pile. Instead, i'd rather trip over the suitcase than put it away. Instead, i trim my hair. What is so hard about unpacking? Why is it impossible to put my life in order? And why is it that with every box i put away, five more appears?

Maybe i should call a 1-800 number for a few cheerleaders, some one to rah-rah-rah me on. Or call out my sheer laziness, this blatant ignorance of self-improvement. Perhaps a service announcement, or a ''i'm not too busy to wipe my own ass'' motivational speech! Maybe a professional organizer...actually, what the hell am i saying?! The only reason why i can't get shit unpacked and organized here is because of all the crap a certain mother and sister have accumulated over the years! What is with you two!? Mother: we do not need to have swiffer wipes in every room of the house! And sister: get rid of your paper! I don't care what it is, but a person is not allowed to have more than two cardboard boxes worth of paper! Any more would be a fire hazard!

One word: purge!

So while you take your flight cross the pacific, i'll be compiling a list of things for you to do :)

Be happy.
Do your math.
Yes, you should be crapping once every day.
Try not to drink coffee after noon.

ik weet niet

2009-09-17T01:09:00.002-04:00

ik weet niks.

no mountain high enough

2009-08-31T19:21:00.009-04:00

It took 8 days, 3,790 miles, a dozen pit-stops, too many burgers but I finally made it, back to the Left Coast! Found a coaster that my sister scribbled the time and date of our layover in Phoenix. To the day, I've spent 7 years & 7 days in New York City. (and coincidentally, I mailed 7 boxes of books home.) The first thing mom said was exclaim how the prodigal daughter's been gone for 8 years.

Numbers aside, the saddest best part about moving are the friends in New York. Don't think I could have left if I didn't know they were spiritually supporting this & knowing that I was going to see them on trips & travels. And then there were the few who've had to listen to lisa's hysterical ramblings about the merits of this decision. (sorry sorry sorry!) And now that it's been said & done, have to sheepishly laugh at my own initial fears about moving and admit that everyone's right: it's all going to be okay.
Oklnd is awesome.
I still like beer.
Convinced mom to buy antibiotic-free free-range eggs from a local producer.
There's a half of a garage waiting to be converted for my use ('yay!' for underfunded projects!)
Need to remember to layer.
The internship is going, albeit slowly.
Applied for GRE.
The world didn't explode.

It's like climbing, you might forget halfway up the rope why you've put yourself in that situation.

But once you're up there, ain't nothing you can't do.

road trip!

2009-08-24T00:02:00.005-04:00

Coast to Coast (via LW phone by way of Eugenia)

Crossing the country.
See you in a few!

Somebody Sedate Me!

2009-07-24T11:02:00.004-04:00

Radiation Symbol via Wikimedia (via lanare)

My brain hurts when it under thinks.
And it comes close to a nuclear meltdown when there's too much to think about.
The nuclear reactor core is reaching a point of meltdown.
I need time
to think about
and do things for:

moving: send books, get a car, plan a route, book hotels along the way/crash at friend's place
grad schools: wtf, american education is so expensive and why the hell is john yoo teaching at berkeley?
book: haven't written in a while for it, my fault
competition: just have to finish it this weekend
wrapping up with work: emails, copy, paste
shanghai: work there for a year? (PVG is so messing up my plans...)

and this is not including all the trips planned for the next year:

bike trail along the west coast with sklaar and co.
am's going to work in florida til january, gosh i miss that girl!
caroline's going to south america without me now :(
date with kyle in edinburgh. four words: haggis on burns day
my six months in bolivia

My facilities need upgrading.

nightmares (uploading photos from phone has been a nightmare)

2009-07-06T22:47:00.006-04:00

This is a space filler, about nightmares. I couldn't get the photos off my phone so I'm putting this post up instead. If you like, you can preoccupy yourself with other the-internet-is-great things like this, this, this or this. The bottom line is that Macs are just not compatible with me (stphn would argue the opposite), but I digress.

As I was saying, been having strange dreams lately. Not scary nightmares where I scream myself awake. Neither are they the strangest dreams I've ever had. But seriously, it's just not often that I have dreams, especially so many in a row. Makes me wonder what truly goes on behind grey mass?

Sunday night: I was back in Vermont. Somehow, the drainage area for the constructed wetlands wasn't calculated properly and had to be bigger. Pete (the teacher) decided that I would be the one to remediate the problem. He handed me a rock to use as shovel and I had to dig the rest of drainage field out.

Monday night: I was hanging out with Caroline, picking out cups or making brownies. I forget. Somehow, I was given the offer to fly to Copenhagen. Caroline, naturally, practically packed me into my bags and brought me to the airport for my departure. We were standing on the tarmac and I was ready to leave, when I realized I didn't have my tooth brush or face wash. She saw me off but I refused to get on the plane without my toothbrush and facewash.

Tuesday night: the characters from the book 'The Discover of Heaven' and the movie 'Star Trek' merged in this night's dream. Onno Quist (one of the protagonist from the book) was the emotional Spock (from the movie). He resigned the captain's bench to Quinten so that he can lead a quiet life with no responsibilities. Onno's hulking mass is last seen settling into his captain's quarters with a book.

Wednesday night: my hair were vinyl strips and I broke bobby pins in it.

After a thorough survey about strange dreams with Diana and Anita, I realize that these dreams aren't that weird. They've had dreams where they're having sex, which I've never had before. And from the descriptions, it's not just face vacuuming. It's the full fcking monty.

What the hell kind of other things do people dream about that I don't?!?!
I feel like a reject, I can't even have proper dreams.

Budget Cuts? On Food

2009-07-02T23:12:00.005-04:00

my fridge is empty

no. not because of some monetary inabilities.

i can stock my own pantry.

thank you.

irregardless of the current downturn in our national economy, shoes in my closet and food in my fridge are two things that will not be spared of its expenses. bad habits are hard to overcome?

going away for any length of time, usually means food stuff that's kept, are the hardier canned goods and pastas in the cabinets. the smoked herring, couscous, rigata, black beans, penne, diced tomatoes, cumin. usually, the real food slowly makes its way back into the empty slots in the fridge.

first comes the staples, things that requires little to no time for preparation. hummus, cheddar cheese, spinach, bananas, tomatoes, pita, eggs. no thinking, right? maybe it's the primordial part in me that finds comfort in reaching into the fridge to find food ready to eat.

me hungry.

mm...pita

satiated!

no time delay.

hopefully by the end of the week, between finding friends, catching up with my couch (my couch requires a lot of love), unpacking and cleaning, the recipe food stuffs are added to the fridge. ingredients that looks useless by itself but comes together to be a hot mess of deliciousness in my mouth. fresh ricotta, arugala, summer squash, asparagus, beets, mushroomsss, chocolate, blue cheese, ground buffalo meat, bread. on those rare nights that i find time to prepare dinner, there could be pasta alla carbonara, some asparagus concoction a la nytimes, pear&chocolate cakes. the strangest part about making these more elaborate affairs, the neighbordude has unexpectedly dropped by for dinner and the food was taken to the park for the snoopy gang bang.

comfort food's been the hardest to make since moving to brooklyn. so i'll admit that my definition of comfort food isn't just mac&cheese or cheeseburgers. it gets into this messy realm of chinese cooking. and specifically, southern chinese cooking. and in my amatuer food cooking experience, i believe it requires three very important things.

one) a cleaver. preparing food otherwise is just a waste of time. you just can't hack a chicken/fish/greens properly without it.

two) the 35 ingredients that i have no idea what they're called in english because i know them only phonetically in cantonese. they're the little wrinkled red berries, fermented beans, dried (_insert root/bark/leaves/sap/flower of a plant here_), the different kinds of soy sauce (yes).

three) a range hood. my smoke detector has gone bezerk.

there are so many things i've forgotten about growing up. cooking was one i tried to get out of my head. i'm a girl. you can imagine what cooking was and meant to a tween feminist, especially coming from an immigrant family. the kitchen and its paraphenelia represented specific female roles, at least those pounded into my brain by my dear parents. so when you grow up, it all translates into the maid and stay-at-home-mom mantra of life, the sole purposes of existence. what is a girl to say, who hates being told what to do, when asked about her kitchen skills? forcefully deny ever having culinary abilities, of course! do you blame me?

it's ironic what food represents for now. choice. control. and it's just food, right? just another bushel of apples. amino acids and chains of carbohydrates. but it's what i put in my body. when i go for meals. who i eat with. how i want the food prepared. as i was lovingly reminded, it is my body.

so i got my staples but a girl can't survive on stock. bad for digestion.

easy food will always hit the spot for a quick snack but then what? can't really share hummus and pita with friends, before they start wondering what's going on with your diet.

recipes are getting less difficult, although not easy. came across some terrible recipes. and comfort foods, it's almost circumstantial when that happens. maybe i'll just have to resort getting that at restaurants. aim is to have good cooking and delicious food all the time.

wonder what food i want for breakfast tomorrow?

lunch in a week?

dinner next year?

happy independence day weekend and safe bbq!

Natural Wastewater Treatment is Fun - The Teaser

2009-06-29T13:27:00.016-04:00

The constructed wetlands under construction (via LW)

You know sometimes life is strange, and it all starts to fit together like 'The Secret' Oprah raves about? Start doing/thinking about one thing and all these doors starts to open up, you meet people who's aiming for the same things and start creating opportunities at your own doorsteps?

So it went at Warren, Vermont. Met some very incredible people at Yestermorrow, my abode for the week while I took their Constructed Wetlands for Wastewater Treatment class. The teachers, the other classmates and other students at the school, it was really nice to geek out on sustainability issues at all these levels and have people understand where you're coming from (instead of the otherwise omnipresent 'oh-how-nice' look). For anyone who has time on the east coast and wants to take some classes that ranges from permaculture to regenerative design (very intriguing class), getting to Yestermorrow was a hop and a skip (it's a hell of a lot easier to get there than the west coast!). If cost is an issue, check out their scholarships. Everyone in the office and all the interns were so helpful! I simply cannot stop gushing about them, Yestermorrow is fantastic and I will tell that to whoever is willing to listen to me!

(And as Alex has already so sweetly pointed out: Brains are Hot)

The photo is of the original constructed wetlands. The wood structure in the back is the solar shower, the source of wastewater that the constructed wetlands cleaned. The dude in the photo is Matt, the biodiesel teacher. He talked about how algae is now a very possible source of energy for cars, although it was kind of hard to keep up with the auto jargon. The wetlands we made is slightly bigger than the original and lovingly dubbed Fawcett Moon WalkED (for Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Ed McMahon).

As I still haven't quite figured out how to get pictures off my phone besides sending them (and I am not about to sit here and send all 200 photos to myself...), all relevant photos will be up on Flickr, with commentaries a la me, as soon as possible!

D Train

2009-06-12T20:36:00.005-04:00

if you find yourself in chinatown during the morning commute, you're usually greeted by the delivery trucks and grocers as they set up their stands for the neighborhood see lais. like in most any chinatowns in the world, it's an attack on the aural, nasal and visual senses. fitted snugly in between the grocers are the many nic-nac vendors. they're the ones with the bras and plants, socks and tofu, yesterday's newspaper and plastic/gooey/shiny toys to sell.

there's a nic-nac stall right at the exit of the grands street d train. you can't miss it, its the first thing you see after you trudge up the stairs behind the po po and ah syuk as they bring their grand kids to school. it's one of my favorite. not because they have any thing different, fancy or particular that they sell at their stall. it's the television set that has caught my eye!

i know, it's a television set! everyone has one, what's so great about this particular tv set?! (although i have to note that i do not, in fact, own a television set)

there are many reasons why this television set has caught my eye. it's not just how it is beautifully wrapped in plastic to protect itself from the elements. it's not only because an individual has claimed public space and transformed the street to break away from the monotonous overtures of city living. it's not just because it makes me imagine who the owner of that television set is or what happens to the tv when it rains.

no, far from it. it's because every morning, as i come slowly up the stairs behind the slow walking people, i hear the tv in the background. with its volume turned up, it distracts me. even if it's only for a moment, it distracts me from the day i have ahead and it sings to me.

"ni hao, ni hao!
good morning, good morning!"

"shuan piao, shuan piao!
ballot! ballot!"

If Trees Were Sentinels

2009-05-20T18:31:00.015-04:00

the macarthur genius grant is one of the most prestigious award any american citizen/resident can get. anonymously nominated, winners comes from the entire spectrum from science to art. will allen of growing power is one such recent recipient, for his urban agricultural work in milwaukee. with more and more people moving to cities, urban agriculture is fast becoming a concrete option for city folks: less transportation, higher food security, more efficient use of land (possibly water) resources, and a generally aesthetically pleasing addition to any community.

what are the current downside to having urban agriculture from being implemented everywhere? first, one has to take into consideration that the urban environment is typically more polluted than not urban areas (unless, say, if we were talking about the areas of tennessee for mountain top removal coal mining). barbara maher and a group of scientists from the university of lancaster are conducting a study on pollution levels, based on evidence found on tree leaves. as i haven't read the article yet (it's in the process of being published) but i'm going to go out on a limb and speculate that there's a good amount of pollution in urban areas, and it would be better not to injest said pollution.

a-side that could be immediately implemented:

build green houses that'll produce food. tokyo's already have subterranean fa rms (via pruned), new york city's been dreaming up a skyscraper that'll produce food, and the concept was the 2008 winner for the PS1 summer pavilion by dan wood at workAC.

flip-side that could be implemented with an urban plan:

if the study showed gradients of pollution level, relating to an area's proximity to highways, major road ways, factories, etc., planners could also create gradients to buffer urban agricultural plots from toxins. these gradients could go from pedestrian only areas, to recreational parks, to outdoorsy parks (sorry, can't think of the word for parks that are more 'natural') and then to the urban garden.

perhaps the immediate solutions to some of these larger sustainability questions can be resolved with buildings. we'll have our housing on top of chicken coops on top of hydroponic farms in the middle of our cities. we can do that now. but like a new game with great graphics, we'll need a new gaming station and platform to run the improved program. implementing readjusted ideas about our cities will take time. the scale will need planning and decisive decision making. and like anything that has been and is to be truly sustainable, there is no one plan that can be cookie cut to fit ever city. each urban agricultural solution will have to be tailored to its city.

and since we're on a deadline, should we not pick up our feet a bit? and then after all this is done and we've submitted cool tshirt designs, and we've all converted our cars to bikes, we can wear spiffy pants from outliers! (why don't they have girl sizes?!)

Things Grow

2009-05-19T22:28:00.007-04:00

Urban Agriculture (by LW)

Founds these 'shrooms on a recent site visit downtown. Besides how it looks absolutely unappetizing to me, it grew in an abandoned building in tribeca. Would I really want to eat something whose sustenance I know depended on the streets of New York? (On a side note: the renovated building in which these mushroom grow in, will have been mostly designed by yours truly. of course, this means the architectural only, you know I hate picking counter-tops and most anything relating to interiors. Will post images of finished product in a year and a half.)

Speaking of 'shrooms, Lavi left New York City.
Officially,
for real for real.
As in her Italian ass will be soaking up Mediterranean sun on her fcking veranda, after having espressos and fresh mozzarella di bufala to her hearts delight (holy cheese, that stuff is so good!).

After the last phone call and text messages sent, it hit me.
So we argued constantly.
And half the time was spent her trying to push me through doors.
And we'd paint mental portraits of ourselves in years to come when we're beyond our stupid-architecture/boys/shoes/left-wing ways (actually, we're never going to get beyond any of those things...).
And we gossip constantly.
And perhaps we could have been with one or two fewer bottles of wine sometimes.
And maybe one day we'll actually be good at climbing.
But it's seriously depressing to have friends leave.

So the question I pose is this: as we grow and find our way in life, we come across countless people who help alter our state of minds and make us who we are.
How do we make sure we evolve progressively and become our best selves?
How do I make sure my 'shroom doesn't grow on dirty food from the streets of new york.

(hmm...interesting analogy made, L)
(why thank you, L)

chat on

hello

2009-05-09T12:05:00.004-04:00

Hi Beautiful World!

Greetings from Lisa's new phone!

walking in new shoes

2009-05-06T23:14:00.004-04:00

a couple of weeks back, i tripped over a pothole after work. i was actually skipping down the street when my right foot landed unknowingly into a pothole. i kept with the former story whenever anyone asked about my gimp walk.

'there are these huge potholes around work..'

'gosh, i'm sorry to hear that'

'yeah, i'm sorry to know where my tax dollars go"

it was a short period of one sided fanfare. my left foot had to handle most of the weight while my right side took a two week vacation. of course, the limping didn't keep me from looking at shoes and it was an easy segue to look for new shoes. that is ergonomically supportive shoes.

i've been sporting terra plana's vivo barefoot collection. it wasn't the right color but the lady gave it to me for such a sweet deal, i couldn't say no! when i added my new shoe to my shoe collection, it made me think of the places i've been with certain shoes, the things i've done, the paths i want to forge.

black high top converses

they've been with me since the get go and have been with me through pretty much every major life situation. i wear them thin through until only the city dirtified laces are holding them to my feet. and then lovingly revived with sparkles here or a rinse through by an april shower there. every two years or so i have to get another pair. it might be a new pair of shoes but it's the same pair of soles. i don't think it would be quite right if i opened my closet and didn't have a pair of chucks waiting.

brown flowered birkenstocks

got them 2nd year when christa and lisa came to visit. remember picking them up at penn hotel and thinking, crap i'm going to have flowers on my feet. i had the most awful hair cut at the time thanks to koby and had the shoes when i met unknown cafe guy (interestingly enough, he had a really bad hair cut when i noticed him...) i felt awkward about the flowers on the shoes but realized the flowers was what made the shoes right. in its own right, it was perfectly designed.

faux animal skin aldo

these shoes are like crack cuz it don't give up. i know i've walked through one too many rain storms and rocky surfaces for those shoes to be still around. they're gorgeous and thin as paper, yet they've never given up and still keeps walking with swagger.

pink leather ballet slippers

a pair of shoes i haven't touched in almost 5 years. they slipped back onto my feet in a brooklyn dance studio couple months back, trying to get my body to remember moves it use to do, things it wanted to do. turn out, pull in, tombe, pas de bourree. the toe finally gave so i have to go pick up a new pair of pink satins. they'll be canvas instead of the pink leather. i know better this time around.

as i add more new shoes to my collection, i wonder if i'll meet a royal family in any of the shoes i own now? will i hike through papua new guinea in the keens? will i taste unbelievably delicious food in my running shoes or heels? or will i help pass new policy or set new design models in my office flats? i will get there, with either a pair of shoes from my closet or barefoot if i have to. but most importantly, i just have to remember to check my departure date and time.

walk/ride/fly/drive/fly/ride/walk

2009-04-16T21:49:00.009-04:00

i took a trip this past weekend to the bay. typically, i'll log a trip or two from 212 to 510. clocking two trips less than 4 months into the year is rather unusual. it was needed, necessary.
i call it my 'i need to chill out from work before my mouth is loose' trip. most people'll say they're going crazy. the little time i've spent with myself has led me to the conclusion that i am a perpetual nut job. the only difference is whether i voice it to an unsuspecting soul.

and yes, the trip was fantastic. the very loosely planned list of things to do is as follows:
- farmers market
- meet with a certain npo
- eat
- watch the A's kick ass (read watch them lose miserably to the rays and the fans distracted themselves from the game with the most amazing wave i have ever participated in, and nachos and beer and fireworks!)
- hook up with family & friends for food
- drive around the bay to check out potential apartments for step hen
- consume material goods
- forget how cold it gets here to develop restless leg syndrome
- check out william kentridge's exhibit at sfmoma (for those in the area, highly recommended! i hope i'll see his nymet production of 'the nose')
- bought fantastic cards for memory book at nan's wedding
- heard about the swine flu (scary!)
-eat
- talked to dj
- get really mad at delta (for the record, i will try very hard to avoid flights with delta and am sticking to my story that they screwed up my itinerary. subsequently, i will make a habit of checking my confirmation.)
- talked to caroline and sent good juju her way
- finally eating the jelly beans from anne's easter eggs (do jelly beans go bad or is there enough preservatives in it?)

would show you the minimal packing i can accomplish, but that requires an available camera. with connections. to internet or my laptop.
unfortunately, new phone didn't happen this week.
it awaits (enter sad face here).

happy, positive and curiously funny thoughts:
- can't get swine flu
- australians wear really big sun hats
- i am so tired
- jelly beans taste disgusting for the most part
- i kind of want to watch the new 3d movie 'fight for planet terra' for the sake of things popping off the movie screen
- my brother and sister kicks ass on the sibling awesome-ness scale
- wish i knew german to understand 'the magic flute'
- dog's getting too old to bark at friends now (finally!)
- i have the same 'can't drink ice cold water problem' as mom which means i am actually 57 years young
- so miss living 'meet you after work for drinks' minutes away from caroline
- eugeniaman has officially made the statement that i, indeed, do not have an ass
- my cantonese sucks!
- mom swears all i need in life is a man with money (o mother, i do know it's all out of love).
step hen deftly changed the conversation to compatibility as prescribed in the chinese astrology book.
mom countered with a phone call to vancouver for advice from my aunt.
aunt was too busy with dinner.
disaster averted.
in a quick google search, compatibility is as follows:
horse: tiger sheep & dog
pig: rabbit & sheep
ox: snake & rooster
(so glad mom has yet to learn the google)

i'm cramping from sitting.
i think i'll stretch out.
o wait, we're boarding.

alice in wonderland syndrome

2009-04-07T20:21:00.008-04:00

my sister swears both she and i have this neurological disease known as Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. it's a problem that fcks with your visual perceptions. the body functions no different from other people except the brain farts instead of process information from eyes, causing perception to be distorted. space or your own body seems like its getting bigger or smaller. time appears to be passing faster. sometimes slower. it's a problem of the mind and visual perception.

i remember the first time this happened was in mr.randall's class in 6th grade. i was sitting with akilipeyton and gordanbach, taking a quiz of some kind, going through it like any child of an immigrant family would. mr.randall had some kind of magical power to keep a classroom in oakland quiet. because while we were taking the quiz,

the room was

fcking

quiet

even the fans did not dare pique a sound.

so there i was with my quiz sheet finished, just staring at really nothing when it happened. first, like a scene from a movie, i felt like someone just pulled me to the back of the class. the clock started to audibly tick faster. i waved my hands in front of me like a blind person, and they moved through space like gravity didn't exist. holy crap buckets! i can move like superman! but everything was moving too fast, and just like riding a too fast a car, i got motion sickness.

wikipedia says that AiWS is a sign that your brain is having some kind of seizure. so my assumption that i haven't been having any lately is a good sign. even with the health reasons taken into consideration, i have to say i miss having my 'i'm superman!' moments. sure, my brain's farting (or digging its own boogers, which ever analogy you prefer). but i can imagine that's what a part of what taking psychedelic drugs is about. and the fantastic part was that this was (is?) my brain's natural tendency. i was constantly on a natural high. i was my own supplier. it was easy to see things as if i've never seen it before. new, taking in the experiences like a fish on land.

now finding perspective involves reading, meditating, drinking, writing, touching, watching the office, talking, feeling, visting, sleeping, dancing. i can't just sit and stare at a finished quiz anymore. maybe i got more perspective then because everything was new? and as we grow up, there are fewer and fewer uniquely new things. with the fact that the digital age delivers every possible perspective to you on any given google hit, there's less and less we don't kind-of know.

so how are we suppose to have perspective now? without the drugs, without throwing myself out of an airplane, without joining an ashram. i look at a glass and think of it as half empty, half full, someone else had been thirsty, or maybe it's seltzer.

now the only question is, do i have to justify it?

sigh

you know you need to do laundry when you go to the laundromat without underwear.

25 cents carousel ride

2009-03-19T22:15:00.002-04:00

round the corner's the shoe store
sale price 20 percent off the entire left side of the store
out front is the big wide sidewalk
nice dirty gummed grey, beat down by the summer's heat
the grocery store's just right next door
and a little 25 cent carousel ride sits out front
you know the kind
find them every which way you go
got paint job that looks like it was done by the oompa loompas
stationary
the wind up music cranks out from underneath the horse's motor shank

fast forward 10 years time
the city's different
but the streets are the same
the shoe store layouts strangely doesn't change much city to city
grocery store's got the same gala apples
you asked for them differently
it use to be: 'please a kilo of apples'
now it's: '2 pounds of apples please'
the 25 cents mini carousel ride still sits out on front
you watch a tyke rock out on it
while the mom holds the ice cream cone
the look of exhilaration's smeared across the kid's face
on a 25 cents carousel ride

and i watch this with my groceries in my hand
a few blocks to walk before i get back to my apartment
and i stand there
watching
watching a child live life
because they just got a 25 cents carousel ride
there are no qualms for tomorrow
no arguments with yesterday
just taking it all in
all 25 cents of it
in front of the grocery store

there are no concerns on accomplishing goals
on curing cancer
or saving the world
there's no psycho-analysis on gender roles
about who plays who's knight in shining armor
or who will whisk who off to camelot
it's not about the barriers we put up
the people who've helped tear them down
the bridges that have been crossed
meetings do not exist
no questions to answer
or how the product could be made better

because after the nagging and tantrums
the tears and promise of being the perfect angel
mom will open up her wallet
and drop that 25 cents
and everything continues, nothing stops
during the entirety of that ride
that 30 seconds of joy
the enjoyment is
of all that anything is

the sprinkles on the ice cream cone
little grey kitten fast asleep
sitting with my book
that bubbly feeling inside
Saturday afternoons
spend the day watching the rain fall
curled in my pajamas
the hot chocolate's ready
mom's got the spaghetti in the kitchen
no i got the tv remote

so what's the deal
with those dinky
chartreuse colored
25 cents carousel rides?
when it can only take you nowhere
and bring you memories and possibilities?

headful of monologues

2009-03-14T13:53:00.006-04:00

i'm not afraid to admit that i talk to myself a lot. i don't see it as a sign of abnormal psychosis or an inability to relate or talk to other people. i do, it happens.

what's different, lately is how a lot of these dialogues are happening outside my head.
'you can do this'
'don't plan on failing'
'everything will come when the time is right'
'i don't know what's gonna happen'
'you'll never know whether it was the right or wrong'
'you got this'

this has been my self medication to treat this case of clairvoyant confusion. words of calm, words of wisdom, to remind myself it'll all be alright. yet i feel like it hasn't been working. i could try therapy, but seems pointless as talking about confusion will simply confuse the speaker and speakee. revving up the happiness potency of the phrases will just get me jaded. and can't really administer a placebo to myself either.

so i'm gonna distract myself with the following things to do/things not to do list:
- drink less (i'm averaging 2/7 of non-imbibing nights right now)
- work on my excel sheets
- visit friends
- pay off my cards (2 more to go!)
- play softball with my office (which is right now and i'm late for it!)

post-failed-XXXXXXXXX-application news

2009-03-07T13:39:00.007-05:00

since the terrible january news of not getting the fulbright (eh! not so terrible that it's a tragedy, but give me a moment of melodrama, won't you?) i've been on a spiritual journey on what it is that i want to get meself into. not so much a journey than a rendez-vous. a lot of things i'm interested in doing are things i'm already doing, just haven't made it a day to day job. if these things would just get lassoed and rounded up into a job, that would be perfect!

since january:
- contacted some non-profits to see if they're willing to hire a volunteer person like me. there has been one response and we're trying to figure out what i could possibly do there.
- submitting to the office and here or similar like this or this. neighbor friend has said he'll help out with the office. thanks iu!
- next week, will look beyond the borders of the USofA and see what i can find. lavi insists on europe, and with the the world's money doing so wonderfully, don't know what the real-world prospect of that is.
- hopefully work with ewb on a project in peru (seriously need some fingers-crossed action here!)
- last, looking at schools for 2010 admissions. i think i've only found 'reach' schools (i.e. more-than-likely-i-won't-get-into-them kind of schools, learned that term from cad last summer!) which are here (for this and this) or here. need some regular grad programs that i'm more likely to get therefore should shoot for. if there's any suggestions, please let me know!

happy thoughts of late:
- writing's been great. for those not in the loop, lisa got inspired by anne to write. it brings back memories from days at laurel, when the teachers went on strike. i remember writing furiously everyday, making up a ridiculous story about something i don't remember now. it was also the year that i realized i couldn't pronouce 'exit'. anyhow, i'm getting the hang of taking thoughts i get from riding the train and putting them black on white.
- it's pretty outside. very pretty :)
- realized the secret to rock climbing: keep your hips glued to the wall. it's easier said than done, but dude! can i traverse now, i'm even hitting the harder paths!
- ballet's been great, it's been so long that i've lost the musicality and flow of the dance. i admit i look like a flapping elephant sometimes. but i forgot how fun it can be! if i can get the glissade and assemblé combination next week i'll be a happy flapping elephant.

ooooo the armory's happening!
for the sucker not in the nyc, yes, i will enjoy it very much :)

Action & Consequences: February and the Couch

2009-02-28T23:19:00.006-05:00

it started out as a simple enough of a problem.
four words: lisa needed a couch
"the ideal couch" hunt ensued
(with the expected realization that she's yet to acquire the purchasing powers of certain things in life)
"the attainable couch" hunt followed
and it was found
waiting
from the Master of all Everyday Ready-to-Use
I found the thing I want, nee need
all I had to do was pluck it off the shelf
aisles 18, bin 43, Red Hook, Brooklyn
Success!

Find couch
Purchase couch
Go home with purchased couch
Place couch in new home.

The physical process should have been as fluid as the mental process. I put buildings together, deal with contractors, city bureaucracies and the idiosynchrocies of my bosses. Yet, YET! my mind was wrecking itself over this trivial pursuit of putting a couch into my living room. Should I get a couch from craiglist and save some trees? But I might have to deal with bed bugs! Could Lavi get her grandma's car from jersey? I could skip the tax if I buy it in Jersey! Or should I get my distant cousin to drive? What if the couch doesn't clear the less than 3'-0" wide stairwell? Perhaps I should get the new neighbor dude Kyle for a lift, and I could save time seeing how ikea's only minutes from the apartment. What if I spill wine on the couch?! Am I ready to buy furniture? Does this mean I'm settling? What will I do when I move? I just want a couch!

Right? It's simple or it should have been simple! Here is the function and therefore these are the results. I need a couch and therefore... I live and therefore my body automatically breathes, desires food and rest. My brain needs stimulation and therefore I seek conversation, people, work, interaction. My soul requires love and therefore I keep my heart open.

Actions and consequences.
Efforts and rewards.
Ebbs and flows.

Consequences are sometimes insignificant, the actions sometimes very difficult to make. But that's just it, isn't it? It is simple as us breathing and we participate in the consequence known as life. We just don't think about it because our bodies have evolve to automatically live. The actions and consequences of the modern world gets bit more complicated. Instead of action and consequences, it's more like action and speculations. Go to law school, but won't that make me too much of a superwomen to have a significant personal life? Spend time with him/her/they for company, but he/she/they haven't participated in this relationship with my interests, values or pursuits in life in mind. Move to a new city, but won't that ultimately undermine the life I want to build?

But isn't it also true, that sometimes we don't think everything through when we decide what the action will be? Sometimes the action is made because of a deadline. Sometimes the action is decided by the other partner. Sometimes the action is for us to quit that action and do another action with another set of consequences. And the beauty is we always know what we are doing. We always know what the action is. We just don't know what the consequences will be. We speculate to the edge of the world (and we get very close to it) but we'll never know until it's upon us, right?

February 2009 witnessed the transfer of my ass from the floor to the new couch.
If i keep it all straight, maybe I will find myself in a new city soon.

recommeded: yael naim "new soul"

it's here

2009-01-31T11:02:00.010-05:00

it's here or it was here.
it was sitting in my mailbox, unopened for four hours. it was the thing i've waited the entire month through for. just waiting, for it. an email with a response. january had never taken this long for me. it was always a rather short month. recovery from the holiday partying takes up the first week. by the second, i'm getting ready for my birthday and then the real new years celebration towards the end of the month. every other january comes and goes without hesitation. 2009's couldn't have been more slow. it just wouldn't end. now it's here. it finally transmitted through the digital web, i waited so long for it and i couldn't get myself to open it, so i busied my mind on other matters at work.
coffee or tea?

i made it sit, unloved, in my mailbox as i text messaged the west coast. who wouldn't want to receive a happy ring from your message box saying 'lisa's-constipated-ass-can't-open-her-long-awaited-email-please-open-it-with-her-over-the-phone.' i know i would have a smile on my face. no one's answering and now my head is really hurting. lately my head's been having headaches. my brain's form of enjoyment is to train for the mental olympics, trying to think up alternate plans, if it comes back negative. my head hurts and i have no plan b. no alternate route, yet.
what will i do?
coffee or tea?

the window to gmail has to close down, my eye balls can't even look at my other emails without causing my brain to panic, doesn't help that my brain recently incurred injuries during a plan-b-triathlon. and what if everything goes well and i actually get to round 2 or 3 of the selection process? what if i get it? what then? will i do what i've fear where i a) won't want it anymore as i am a regular at being indecisive or b) i'll fuck it up because my capacity for sabotage seems to increase with time as a sentient being or the cherry on the cake where c) i epically fail at it.
what am i doing?
what will i do?
coffee or tea?

at the office, i waited until lunch time. phone, jacket, caroline, bag, cash. bundled up in winter's wear as i sat in front of the computer monitor, prepared to leave if my emotions couldn't take it.
nothing's riding on this decision, i try to tell myself
caroline's at the other end of the line trying to calm my freaked out nerves.
as i clicked open the over-anticipated email, a white page with little black letters swim in my vision.
i couldn't read it. i physically couldn't focus my eyes to read it.
my brain flashed back to a younger and angrier me. the me that was silently stubborn about how she'll lead her life, about the values she'll uphold herself to (regardless of hypocrisy or contradictions), the girl that was constantly fuming heat over everything wrong around her and not being about to change it. and not knowing how to change it.
she's still in me. i know.
the heat in my forehead still creeps down to my ear and neck when i stand witness to ignorance. make it a point to point bullshit out. still stubborn although it's now more popularly known as being opinionated.
what do you mean?
what am i doing?
what will i do?
coffee or tea?

i read it.
a sigh of relief escaped me without knowing.
my headache went away soon after.
time started to run normally again.

what do you mean, you don't understand?
what am i doing?
what will i do?
let's get a coffee, maybe a tea and i'll break it down a-to-z
and i won't take no for an answer.

Horseshit List

2009-01-08T01:08:00.011-05:00

Horse Butt (via Paul J Everett)

The only-7-days-into-the-year-2009-horseshit-list includes:

rendering projects: the one thing that's most wanted in an architectural 'argument' is the one thing i hate doing the most i.e. rendering or known in vernacular terms as 'a pretty picture'. the pretty pictures get the projects commissioned and it has become the bane of my thus-far-short-career. yes, i can churn out a pretty picture. but ask me if i care to budget a week's worth of time for well-proportioned windows to telephone poles and i can say not really.
coordinating hvac: why anytime! pretty picture arguments? can't that be outsourced to india or china?
calling people is not that hard: maybe caroline and anne could be witness to this phenomenon but wtf is the deal with this text messaging horseshit? call. it's not rocket science. if it was, it would not be asked of you. pick up the landline. spin the rotary dial. call collect. go to india and use their rural digital service for holy cow's sake.
jetlag: the curse of the traveling (and seeing how everything's a disease today, may soon be listed in the DSM-IV!) and reason why i am still up. i'll feel great until morning beckons me to work tomorrow morning. maybe mom's reasoning is right, if i just sit still i might finally fall asleep.
digital divide: yes, technology is great and we can do wonderful things like communicate with people half a world a way, 12 times zone apart, rewatch the birth of your child and send my 45 most favorite songs to you in a second. whoever said bytes could make up for face time? sorry, but i prefer folks within a 10 digit phone call or better yet, how about a subway stop away? facebook isn't face time. i want the flesh and blood, with all the gory, gross snot and sneezes in between.
waiting for results: be it 10 minutes for gymnastic judges to get their scores tallied or waiting for a team of people to get back to you on whether you passed the first of three rounds, waiting for results is horseshit.

seriously excited for the rest of 2009,
-L

number & THE writing

2008-12-20T19:28:00.005-05:00

Lead thought: talking to shiber-knowles about getting licensed

went out one night to hang with shiber-knowles and co. it was one in a handful of encounters we've had since moving to the city 6 years ago. over delicious chinese in midtown, the ladies talked about future stuff.
it was comforting to talk about these facets in my life that i haven't resolved. our careers we're trying to get into, places we want to see, people we want to become, socially conscious things we want to accomplish, people we want to fall in love with
the verdict was definitely of the 'o see how the future looks so bright!' kind.

during the dinner, shiber-knowles mentioned how engineers take a 1 day exam to get licensed.
i then proceeded to expressed my remorse for pursuing architecture
as the licensing exam process takes approximately 2 years.

fuck

in the meantime, iv'e been working on my intern hours. to get licensed, interns (ie people who are in architecture but who are not licensed and deserves a better title than just 'intern') needs to accumulatel 700 credit hours of work.
as of this week, i still have 374.50 credits left to be completed.
i have no idea what that means exactly, but what i do know is that that's approximately 2 more years of "interning". the prospects of competing those remaining credits is starting to appear

bleak

this past week has been a bit of a downer for me. political conversations has all but dimished since the election of our president-elect. lavi's gone for her birthday, christ's birthday and then to tijuana for the rest of winter. work's been fustrating (long story short: d.o.b. objections). haven't been getting proper sleep (my fault). and the scariest part was, my first impulse to relieve my stress was to shop.

i do not shop.

there is no other way of emphasizing my lack of interest in buying things. and yet after work, all i wanted to do was to shop for myself. after years of reconditioning, i am but a product of my generation: to relieve my stressful life i purge my wallet to add another piece of cotton to my wardrobe. so while the epic-corporate-vs-non-consumer battle played out in my guilty head, i walked around finding thinking what i could charge on my plastics. came to the conclusion it would be nice to have a phone with a camera feature (my simple ways!). ended up buying a new dress for myself for the office party.

but beyond these 'worldly' conflicts, there are 2 frustrating things that's really been gnawing at my patience. one i'd rather not explain here. and the other is something sally and i having been talking a lot lately about. the broader question posed is 'if you know you're in a situation that is restrictive and you know that the only way out is a complete overhaul of your life (location, friends, family, job), would you do it?'

i've thought of the question like jail:
going back provides stability and knowledge that your future will not be much different from what is experienced the day before
or
leave
sometimes i wish i could be like caroline. make a decision and just do everything possible to make it happen instead of being patient.
i should try to get a shorter temper as one of my new years resolution.

going back to late october, i found out about a fulbright opportunity. it was a somewhat legitimate opportunity to segue into planning, although the fellowship would be open ended, with a broader focus on water issues. i had to apply! so i got my application filled out, bothered former professors for letters of recommendation, got a language evaluation from the sweetest professor ever, and received the never ending love and support of friends and family for their input in my incomprehensible statement of purpose and personal statement, all in a matter of 10 days.

i dropped off my application on a rather warm day for late october at the fulbright headquarters, which is across the street from the u.n. building. i remember walking past a peaceful protest against the occupation of iraq. i don't know about most people, but sometimes when i walk past homeless people or people who are trying to get you aware of their cause, i feel a bit of guilt. like i could be doing something, but i'm going to ignore them instead. i walked pass this group of protesters and i didn't. partly because i was finally starting to move my ass in the direction i've been thinking of. maybe because i knew that if i wanted to do something, i can make it happen.

diajeh's been constantly on my ass about getting my writing out there. since i spent so much time on the statement of purpose, figure i might as well put it out there.

an abridged and edited version:

I am applying for ... the academic school year of 2009-2010. ... my goal is to study how ... planning practices and policy can be adopted into an already developed urban core, such as New York City or the Bay Area.

In my architectural design thesis, I explored redevelopment possibilities in the South Bronx focusing on green construction methods, local food production and water management and remediation systems. I realized buildings themselves couldn’t truly be sustainable if the infrastructure is not. The question I posed to myself was how could urban cores be redeveloped to support sustainable living? As a majority of the world moves towards already developed urban centers, the pressures of the growing population increasingly stress the infrastructures in urban cores. And cities rely heavily on large-scale infrastructures and if they fail, there are rarely alternate networks to support the lost of that system. Reliance on any singular system is not sustainable. Much like the dialogues for diversifying our economies and sources for energy, diversifying infrastructure can take the pressures off the existing infrastructure, find new sources and perhaps create local sources as well.

I became very interested in water because of the many challenges it presented throughout my design thesis. Can water systems and infrastructure be managed in urban centers so that a clean water source can come from within the city? How can the water infrastructure in urban centers redevelop to mimic existing ecological systems? Having spent time in ... I was familiar with their history with water. In an extremely limited area they are able to achieve a landscape that varies urban centers, wildlife, and agriculture, within reaching distance to its population. ... Because of this, new types of floating homes have emerged. These new building types complemented and worked with the new, sustainable infrastructure, and I believe the same can happen in the United States.

The fact is our world is undergoing climate change and the devastation in the Gulf region is unfortunately just one such example. Engaging countries such as the ... can help us adopt planning and policy solutions in California and its extensive and fragile reservoirs. In order to ensure that commitment, cities and governments must support policies that will contribute to sustainable economics and environments in the United States. I believe having a sound water management plan is crucial to sustainable redevelopment and living in urban and rural areas for the United States.

2 tangent thoughts:
1) if the 'shuffle' play on my itunes is to be truly random, then once in a while i should hear the same song twice.
2) really like the body of work from obey giant. they're the ones behind my most favorite obama poster.

i hate networking parties

2008-11-13T22:13:00.005-05:00

i hate networking parties
i really do
networking parties are antithesis to the words:
partying and networking

and if you'll allow me, i would like to dedicate these next few minutes of digital reading to my dislike for networking parties (without saying fuckityfuckfuck)

numero uno: a party by definition "A social gathering especially for pleasure or amusement"
to network is to bring work into play. perhaps it's a bias of mine and i hate mixing work with play. you have fun, you have fun, you work, you work. to think that you're going to work while partying, who's going to have fun? that's already fucking up the equation of networking party

二: there's alcohol involved in any parties. alcohol tends to do the following things: loosen the tongue, loosen ties, loosen up folks. and if your superiors expects a coherent pitch on your part (in the case that you're not drinking) they have to take into consider the person getting the pitch might be too drunk to understand what you're trying to sell

drie: like most professional parties, what inevitably happens is that most people have to keep their ties on. raunchy jokes, political comments, most anything taboo in a typical office (which i've realized is most anything controversial) can't past your lips. it's a corsetted hors d'orderves event

IV: and the topper is: you can't really bring your friends to these events. because friends are caring wonderful people who want only the best for you. and of course there are times when your friends may benefit from these kinds of get-togethers. but unless you know they are prepared for a constant barage of 'so where do you work' or 'how do you know so-and-so?', please please please for fuckityfuckfuck sake, don't invite them.

conclusion: all out parties with a bowl going around in the back, yes
networking party, sorry i'm busy that night

because

2008-11-11T19:36:00.006-05:00

because sometimes we don't see the light at the end of the tunnel
sometimes we don't even know we're lost
sometimes we just don't know how to say we're lost

because whether you're here or timezones away
whether you have the words or not
whether it's a short trip or the best moment in your life

you know i'll wanna know
the littlest thought that flitted through your head
to the stories about the big steps in your life

even when i'm too tired to listen
i'll just have to put you in my dream
and wake up to leave you the longest message about the dream i just had of you

because i'm starting to care less about going anywhere
just hand me the ice cream with the ice cream cone
and we'll have another go around

night before elections - cycles

2008-11-03T23:04:00.001-05:00

I can't sleep. My heart is pounding and there's a ringing in my ear and I can't sleep. Tomorrow will be the day I cast my vote. Part of me wished I had just signed up for absentee voting like Stephen so that I could have gotten over with it already, so that I could have made my choice already. But the our market world, what's the point of choosing if my particular demographic ends up being grouped together with other non-specific generalizations of my generation, sex, creed or leanings? How will my choice count if people do not reflect on WHY I choose and instead ruminate on WHAT I choose? Yes I am an individual but I am also a part of a growing community who are voicing themselves not just on the federal political landscape but in their backyards, city council meetings and state senate. And this is all happening right now. Not just the now that is tomorrow, when we, as Americans, go to the polls to vote. But now, as in this powerful generation, who are causing this evolution. The 70's were a period of revolutionary ideas. And the 21st century is the evolution those of ideas, to sustain a political, cultural and societal lifestyle that will sustain and further the ideas that came from those earlier psychedelic times.

And it all comes and goes like a cycle. Pundits reminds us of the similarities between the former whos-it to the latter whos-it, comparing those castles to round-table discussions. And I think these last eight years have been one cycle for me. Just one, one single eight-year long cycle. Since moving to Brooklyn, life's finally getting settled and squishy around the edges, like a comfortable couch you fall asleep on for a Sunday nap. I eat and sleep regularly, burping's mostly subsided, I think there's even less white hair speckling my scalp. It started with a crisis (Y2K), getting family back into my life (my sister), application to study abroad (holland), a move across the country (new york), good friends, sleeplessness (college and all its glory) and life. But the tone of it has been mostly negative and for that I can't help but to attach the blame onto Bush. Interspersed in this cycles were stupid knee jerk reaction moves that questioned my own self worth, integrity and identity, but didn't Bush do that to a lot of people and their lives?

Now that the election campaign is coming to an end and election day is tomorrow, I can't help but to wonder, what's in store for the next few years? What's going to happen to me in this next cycle of my life. Because a few things have started to play: a crisis (financial), application to holland, getting family back into my life (phone plans, weddings, various asian obligations, a move agreement/pact). Maybe I should phrase the question differently and instead ask, will I be okay? Will tomorrow be here for me? Can I go to sleep tonight and not be embarrassed to dream of flying? And when I wake up on November 5, 2008, can I look forward to a presidential inauguration of someone who is better, smarter and readier than me to run this country? And when November 4th marks the end of this cycle, will November 5th will be the start of a more improved path towards enlightenment, self love and decisions?

cycle's a cycle, fundamentally made up of various recitations of the same thing
jazz, played differently everytime

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

2008-11-02T18:53:00.003-05:00

Earth From Above comes to NYC - The Big Picture - Boston.com

2008-10-08T09:29:00.002-04:00

Photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand will bring his work back to the United States - to New York City for the first time in 2009. Aiming to inspire people to think globally about sustainable living, Arthus-Bertrand has been photographing unique views of our planet, seen from the sky, since 1994 - and has produced an exhibit of over 150 4-ft. by 6-ft. prints which will be on display in New York City at the World Financial Center Plaza and along the Battery Park City Esplanade from May 1, 2009 to June 28, 2009. When completed in New York City, the Earth From Above exhibit will also move on to California in 2010. Photographs and captions all courtesy of Yann Arthus-Bertrand. (38 photos total)

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Beer Brew with Kevo - Countdown to Oct 18

2008-10-01T21:07:00.003-04:00

The Announcement: after almost 6 straight years of constant coddling by nancy and andrea about why beer is so great and generally on the art that is beer, i am now preparing to pass over to the next level of hearting beer...i am brewing my first bath of beer on october 18th!

The Crew: the brewdude himself, kevin (santa), adaam (elf 1), me (elf 2) and some other characters (i'll count alicia, although she's only spectating)

The Preparation: so far, my homework has been to read the website How To Brew (haven't been on top of it...). i'm not real sure what i'm suppose to do prior to the brewing, except read up on it and bring clean hands (no need for clean feet as we're not squishing grapes). i'll show up on time?

The Logistics: straight from the horse's mouth-

"We are going to make a Wee Heavy. This is a strong Scottish ale, usually in the 7-9% alcohol range"

The Excitement: i can't wait! please forward/comments if you have any hints!

een briefje naar Christa

2008-10-01T00:06:00.004-04:00

het is een lange tijd geweest sinds ik een brief in nederlands schreef.
ik hoop ik kan nog steeds een beetje nederlands schrijven.

veel en niet zo dat veel (is dat niet mijn antwoord elke jaar?)
ten eerste, ik ben in the zelfde stadt (dat je weet)
en new york is steeds een grote en spannend stadt
soms het verwast mij nog steeds (natuurlijk!)
maar, het is the zelfde verwassing
dat maakt het saai en vervelend
mischien ben ik 'jaded' (de woordenboek zegt 'Uitgeput'...wat?!)
of misschien ben ik hier te lang geleven

en werk, werk gaat goed, eigelijk gaat het best wel goed.
ik houd van mij werk. het is soms een beetje saai maar dat is werk, toch?
mestal is het 'luxury' huizen...of 'loft'-en (sommige mensen hebben veel te veel geld)
het is best leuk want all de design suggesties zijn mogelijk :)

personlijk, ja, dat gaat niet de beste
(waneer is het goed voor mij gewest?)
dat heeft veel last voor mij veroorzaakt
ik ga uit, ik ben een vriendelijk meid (dat weet je); ik ben nooit de soort die zit in the kamer, wacht en doe niks; ik heb een vriend
al je mij vraagen, 'is daar niks voor jou?'
ik zal zeggen 'daar was, maar hij was met iemand anders'
'heb je leuk jongen ontmoet'
'wel, maar, ik denk niet dat zij in mij geinterested zich'
'en all de andere jongen'
'ik hoop dat was niet een echte vraag, christa' :)
mij conclusie, misschien bevat dit stadt de type niet dat ik voor zoek

ik weet niet precies wat ik moest doen
maar ik gaat een dag voor een dag
daar is steeds te veel die ik wil doen
zo ik ben niet bang voor morgen

ik denk vaak aan jou, aan nederlands, en koien
maar ik moest zeggen
dat voor dit klein stukje, ik heb voor over een maand geschrijven (echte!)
en daar was veel dat ik heb 'deleted'

ik heb verhuizen en nou ik woont in brooklyn!
het is een beter stuk van new york, en veel mooier
de mensen in mij buurt is zo leuk
ik zegt 'goed morgen' aan de buurman elke morgen (zo simple ding, maar zooo leuk!)
de niewe apartment is best leuke: klein, gezellig en neetjes
en de moment alles is een zijn plaats, zal ik een paar foto nemen

September 2008

2008-09-30T00:41:00.001-04:00

(1) klein dytham architecture "Billboard Building" (2) jean nouvel "Musée du quai Branly" (3) Joost Baker (4) Mick Pearce and DesignInc "CH2" (5) forgot where i saw this, but it was so pretty (6) White Hair Langur, the Monkey King!

i really like the pacific northwest: tacoma, seattle, vancouver

2008-09-22T23:21:00.029-04:00

O the terrible-ness that is Facebook!
What's the point of having a blog if you can't post pictures up on it?
So, to commemorate putting pictures on something as old fashion as a blog, here are the best pictures from my summer and til now.

There are some gaping holes in the timeline, but then again, aren't the most comfortable shirts those worn through and through?

Pacific North West: Tacoma - Seattle - Vancouver

The curly fry dude and his drill. People I can not stress how perplexed I was when I saw this dude making CURLY FRIES with a DRILL. A HAND HELD DRILL, the kind everyone can pick up at Home Depot. I was amazed!

Tall Ships (Check the v-neck dude)

This guy is sawing through a solid piece of wood to make a boat...

Seattle

Cafe in Seattle

Kayaking with Diamond

Yes we kayak'd underneath this highway

Aww!

The Seattle Library - Rem Koolhaas

The Seattle Library - Rem Koolhaas: Waiting for the library to open

The Seattle Library - Rem Koolhaas

Pioneers Square: This picture does not do justice to all the greeness that is the pacific northwest

The Public Market

how sweet

gorgeous

Vancouver: The Lion's Gate Bridge to...somewhere north

Moshe Safdie's Stadium Library (hm...I see a theme here)

fish, we had so much fish: raw, steamed, sauteed, stir-fried, in juk, everywhere!

it was intriguing to imagine myself grabbing this to eat, but I didn't and I think for the better 'cause 6goojeah would have chopped my head off like the fishes on ice

yes, green-ness runs in the family. I think I posted this picture somewhere but I don't mind posting a second time. This is my 6goojeah's garden. She pulled something out one night and made this delicious soup with fish. And no, she doesn't use chemical fertilizers or pesticides = Local & Organic. I'm so proud :)

these try out love words

2008-09-19T00:21:00.009-04:00

thought of some try out love words
hoping that it will be the first draft,
these try out love words
to the most ultimate love story ever lived
it would herald an age of try out chivalry
over try out food
with try out love words for conversation
and everything would be right
because there's no wrong in the try out love story

of course they'll get lost in translation sometimes
from my head to paper
and instead of 'hey i think you're more than cool'
comes out 'hey how's your day?'
asking 'wanna kick it just us tonight?'
to read 'heading to the bar, bringing dickrick&james. see you later'

and sometimes after writing some of these try out love words
put them in my secret book
guaranteeing that i won't forget them
i forget where i put that secret book
and i try to search for these words
in my fuzzy and obstructed brain
these try out love words they sit on the tip of my tongue
too friendly, nonsensical, irrational, teasing, hesitant
they have a terrible tendency to back away from the light of day
into denial if ever you found their true meaning

there's a few try out love words that i kept
i don't know why i kept these spare
perhaps for the rainy days to practice with
more optimism in the matters of the heart than i'm use to
maybe that's what you've given me
hope
that i will use these try out love words
eventually
possibly the worse thing that you could have left

wrote the most perfect try out love words
now i just need to know
who's going to be in my try out dialogue
what's going to be the try out plot in this most ultimate try out love story
where is the try out scene
when will these try out love words be heard
because i don't want to forget the reason
why i came up with these try out love words in the first place

old time copy

2008-09-03T23:32:00.005-04:00

a poem i found in the piles of things i'm trying to get rid of
i feel like someone sent it to me a long long time ago
it is perfect
from lewis carol, a snippet of one of his poem the walrus and the carpenter
i hope you'll enjoy it

the time has come, the walrus said
to talk of many things
of shoes and ships and ceiling wax
of cabbages and kings
of whether the sea is boiling hot
or whether pigs have wings

It will always be cycles

2008-08-21T13:20:00.008-04:00

my apartment's empty
where the bikes and coat racks were
there's scratched walls and dust
stashed neatly away are my 6 years in 17 boxes
it's scary to think that tomorrow, i won't be living here anymore
i'll be in a new neighborhood, new roommate, new swing to get into

daniel had a braai yesterday, a southafrican bbq with a fancier name
i met a guy who's been traveling between continents for the past 7 years
fighting for human rights issues in south africa
and he said something that struck a cord
'i want a normal life and do what I love to do'

it made me think of this past summer
school has finished
all my best friends searching and pursuing their calling
in life, work, love and education
possibilities available to all of us
and yet the possibilities scares the daylight out of us
who? what? where? when? how?

and i'm still the slowest out of the group
i ask: "now?!"
if i could use the analogy of running
and this would be the last mile
i'm walking
slowly

and i know i go slow
because i want to be prepared
at every stop of the way for anything
to do what i dream
and i know i can not be prepared for everything
yet there's no baggage, no sighs, no weight
so why do i think i'm going to stop?

so how has the new pursuits been?
what is your normal life?
how can we ever know if we're ready for what we love?
and how do we have it and not compromise either our life or passions?

ps.
i am moving
just slowly

ice fox

2008-07-17T18:35:00.003-04:00

there's an image in my head

it is of an animal, perhaps a fox
made of ice
the edges still sharp from the maker's tools
the ice fox stands at the edge of a cliff
far far away from anyone
so no one is there to push it over the edge
it stands there, waiting
waiting to be
pushed off the cliff
because why else would an ice animal
stand there at the cliff's edge
but to tumble
down
down
down to the canyon below?
so it stands motionless and waits
to see the other side of that edge
and the sun's ray smiles on to the earth below
slowly melting the ice fox away
into the canyon
down
down
down below

perhaps, in the near future

2008-06-05T13:12:00.008-04:00

I think it's the curse that I'm always drawings lines and not doing a lot of communicating that leads me to seek human communication of any form ie blog.

Recently discovered ffffound and it's a great compilation of other people's discovery, all in photo phorm. A lot of great browsing through flickr and Dutch websites as well.

It's half real, half art and a good lb of imagination. There are some things I'd love to see in real life in NYC.

Wat Doen Jullie in Rotterdam?

2008-06-05T10:44:00.006-04:00

A man by the name of Benjamin Verdonck is nesting an egg.

In a tower in Rotterdam.

A YouTube video with, perhaps, more explanation mostly in Dutch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-B0sYmaFmw

I have nothing more to say.

remembering insight

2008-05-21T10:30:00.007-04:00

I remember in 3rd Year, I shared my project to Dylan and he laughed.
It was the exhibition space project out on Governor's Island.
I wanted to discuss with him the merits of having an open air exhibition space, the implications of that on art. Does art belong in a museum. If art becomes a part of the public and environmentally sensitive space, would there be a challenge between time and art? What would happen to art?
The conversation went like any other LisaDylan conversation: defensive, sharp, unyielding, critical, "why-are-you-doing-that" statements and all done with the best of intentions.
Then, he pointed at my bathrooms and laughed.
He pointed, curled over and laughed.

"How do you think guys pee?"
"Standing up" I said
"Yeah, so why are the urinals on the floor?"
hmm...

No, I didn't think of that. Of all the things I could have thought about, I did not think about that.
There's all the information out there about urinals.
It's been done over and over again, it's a-no-brainer! one could say.
Yes, I have looked up the parameters for urinals in Graphic Standard (2'-6" spacing on center).
Yes, I've even walked into men's restrooms.
But I don't get it! I just don't.
And in my world, the urinals might as well be on the floor.
This is an pitifully veiled attempt at an analogy about guys.

On the up side: I ask Luis next to me to check my men's bathroom.
He pointed at my bathrooms and laughed.

I Hate Studying

2008-05-20T13:56:00.002-04:00

"Announcement to all Shoppers:
I am taking the LEED exam"

O what glorious days await the ones sitting indoors, with their head in a book!
And for the asshole who came up with that, screw you!
Studying hasn't been all that fun, reading/memorizing and reading some more has been my cycle, not that fun. Of course I've tried to look at the situation from both sides:
The Upside to making this commitment: haven't been going out as much as I normally do, thus contributing to a healthier sleep cycle and if I pass, that means I won't be flushing $300 away
The Downside: haven't really been going out as much

Maybe when I crawl out of this reference book, I'll have something more positive to say about this test...o wait, no I won't.

"So, besides LEED,
what else have you been up to?"

Food! Undeniably and most definitely food!
The food bug must have bitten me when Katie and her posse came into town with enzyme juice in tow. It's gotten me so bad that I'm starting to prefer getting a bite over a drink.

Someone in the world must have produced a thorough and fascinating philosophical insight between the worlds' of drinkers and diners. Compared the good and evil in both worlds. Like how with foodies, the food (and conversations that come with it) are almost always great. If not reveling on their last most delicious thing they came across, they're sharing about some other great thing they came across recently; music, numerous other happy things in life. It's filling, literally and metaphorically!

Besides the loosening of the belt and society's conclusion that stuffing your face is a direct result of a depressed life (bullshit!), the best part about foodies is how they're just all about the sharing ergo caring. What better way to enjoy the company of friends sharing conversation than with a pot/stew/bowl/plate/pita'd/pie/spoon/cornucopia of delicious food?

What of this week?

Alfahor ('Tisserie; Thanks Natalia and they don't sell these individually anymore!)
Bacon Smoked Chocolate (Found at most Fairways and Wholefoods)
Clam/Sausage pasta (Courtesy of Dave&Ana)
10 lbs of good ole'fashion chinese broccoli-no-vegetable-no-broccoli (Courtesy of Ana)
Coppocola and Tapenade Sandwich (Courtesy of Me!)
Shio Ramen (Rai Rai Ken; with Jun & MSG free!)

Looking forward to:

Burgers and Fries (5Guys Burgers&Fries; Thanks Jeremy!)
Noodle House (Courtesy of CheapAssFood.com)
Coffee at Irving Coffee Farm
Burgers and Beer (Courtesy of Alicia&Kevin)

I've decided that I want a nifty camera mobile-phone, just for the sake of sharing.
As I'm terrible with staying on top of sharing, at least I'll be able to send photos directly to the computer via the god that I pray to (The All Knowing Internet).

Images will surely be attached to my next ranting, in the meantime: LEED, food and The Scorb's in town!!!!

telemarketing the campaign

2008-05-14T09:39:00.011-04:00

I hate calling my credit card people.
Because it is like calling telemarketers, and who wants to do that?
Volunteering yourself to the onslaught of 'Let me tell you...'s

And they always answer any questions you try to raise to get out of it
Press-button responses, like they've calculated your every next thought
But of course, given the amount of time and money put into market and demographic research,
Of course they know ME!
Perhaps ME should go buy a Big Mac and then subscribe to be a member of PETA,
Take that market and demographic researching peoples!

But I digress...
One of the most persistent and (unfortunately) memorable telemarketing experiences goes back to my broke-ass-while-in-college time. I don’t remember exactly what it was that I was calling them for. But I do remember that when I was done, I was relieved. So that could mean either I just got a new credit card or I got a lower APR rate.

At the end, the lady announced how there was a great opportunity to protect my identity. For a low, low fee, I could have credit-protection-for-5-dollars-a-month.
I could rest assure that someone from (enter some place with Free Economic Zones or Middle America) would not take my information to buy Jacuzzis.
I said my no-thank-you/I-don’t-need-that/perhaps-at-another-time/it’s-not-concern/if-I-had-really-wanted-it-I-would-have-said-so spiel. And the response was the same! Like on auto-pilot, she kept saying the same thing!
How what she was offering was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Like somehow I was a child and couldn't possibly reason why or why not something may be good for me.
Like I need to be prodded over with an automatic dialog to see the light.

And at one point, I just said, “Yes! Fine! [A shaking fist raised high] I’ll take your damn credit-protection-at-5-dollars-a-month!”
Within a minute I was off the phone
I looked around, incredible at my own realities.
I had let this person drown any thought and reason through her persistence, culminating to that piece of proverbial wisdom known as her-way-or-the-high-way.

Why couldn't I just get off the phone? Why couldn't I have hung up the phone, as I already had my business done. If I had just hung up, that would have been the end!
And what will I do next time? The next time I face a persistent person? Will I wait for them to stop? Politely suggest for them to stop? Is there even a polite and nice way to say 'fin'?
And to top it off, she and I knew I was going to call the next day to cancel!

Brownie points for those who has guessed the political undertone.
Yes people: I think Hilary Clinton's campaign has been like that of a telemarketer and my freakin' cow, she's persistent!

It's like no matter how many times people so no-thank-you/I-don’t-need-that/perhaps-at-another-time/it’s-not-concern/if-I-had-really-wanted-it-I-would-have-said-so, she keeps going.
And even though I think she has every right to continue on the end, as this is the process necessary to select the Democratic Nominee, a little person in my head is saying two things:

Hang Up the Phone!
Cause I won't be able to call the next day to cancel my subscription for 'credit-protection-at-5-dollars-a-month.'

On LEED

2008-03-20T00:17:00.001-04:00

Every one's doing it except me.

They're all taking the LEED exam.

Ever since the end of my involvement with the ---- for ---- Committee, I've been extremely jaded about this LEED business. I've talked to a few people about these thoughts.
Some simply agree.
Some think that in order to resolve these issues, I should take on a more active role in USGBC to influence change.
In the end, it is still me that decides what me will do.
I have broken this down into lists, because I realize that's the easiest way for me to write.
Perhaps the taskmaster in me demands it.

Background - I'd say to their website directly to get a better picture for yourself. In the meanwhile:

LEED stands for Leadership in Energy and Environment Design.
It's a rating system to see how green a building.
It was developed by the non-profit organization of USGBC in 2000.
LEED rates all kinds of buildings, and currently they have rating system for new construction, existing buildings, commercial interiors, core and shell, schools, retail and homes.

~~Why I Hate~~ My Thoughts/Problem/Concern With USGBC/LEED

Influences - LEED has been able to give any architect a basic understanding and list of things to do to green their project.
USGBC has influence the materials industry through it's rating sytem LEED, creating a plethora of green products. Now, the seal of approval can be seen on a lot of products. And even when a product was previously wasn't green, manufacturers have introduced a new green product to their line.
I want to take this point to say that on a sector-wide level, USGBC and LEED have done a lot of great things. The above was the only two I could come up with right now. If anyone wants to add more, please.

As a Professional Authority - The profession* has largely adopted the standards set by USGBC in LEED as a way to measure whether a project/building is green.
USGBC is in charge of negotiating what are to be the important issues of discussion on sustainability. As a private organization, they currently are the authority on green architecture. I do not doubt their methodology but I am questioning their authority, as it was self-granted, further sustained by a rating system in which professionals needs to buy their way into.
Perhaps the core of these issues comes from my misunderstanding of or uncertainty in private organizations. But let’s go beyond that for a moment and say that USGBC do hold themselves, if not authority, then the main body influencing green architecture. There comes certain responsibilities that must be met. (Governments are slow for a reason)
*some would argue otherwise, but this isn’t a conversation on the AIA

Historical Context - By creating a rating system, it overwhelmingly negates past projects that have inherent, passively integrated and simple design decisions that are all green design. If one were to look into our history of the built environment and studied our vernacular architecture (or read Dwellings), there have always been ‘green’ techniques and application done by our ancestors. Sure we can’t live in mud huts today, but who says their core design concepts can’t be adopted for modern living?

Data Collection - There is currently an option to track the energy/water use and overall life of your building for data purposes (actually, this credit was just recently added in the most recent update). Why not make it a requirement? Why not have all LEED certified project be tracked on either a 5-year, 10-year or 20-year long assessment. This is a golden opportunity to gather factual data about our built environment. Data and graphs are such great way to understand if what we're doing right now will be right later on! That's science! I understand architect's disgust of graphic representation, seeing how archinect.org is still trying to pool together their fucking salary poll information into graphs and chart. And the beauty about having this set of data over a period of time is that...

Policy – This is an opportunity in which USGBC can either themselves or with AIA, go to capitol hill and make a freaking stand about what we architects are freaking doing. Architects in their own profession gets little respect. This set of data can be take as tendencies/evidence/indicators and say 'hey fuckers, this is why suburban development like the ones in ------- doesn't work!'

Education – USGBC can focuses their efforts to confront the current 'problem of green architecture'. A lot of white papers have been discussing the problems facing green architecture and many still focus on costs. Yet there is a lack of education. (Going to an AIA lecture on facades do not count) There is a lack of attention on education. I’m not talking about college curriculum, but as a sector.
Contractors can be involved in the development and evolution of green techniques. They are a powerful source of knowledge in current construction techniques (some even know sick old school techniques) and are the ones that will implement and even spread certain ideas of green construction techniques.
Owners have an opportunity to not just make a mark on their own family, but see it in context of their community and perhaps affecting a simple but powerful stand in environmentalism. Educate them, not only in changing light bulbs, but also on how to maintain their homes (most everyday problems are due to maintenance issues)
DOB needs to get involved, so that when architects go in with their design and set of drawings that it’s not automatically rejected with pages of objections. Education on all these levels can begin to move the sector. Being green is not just the responsibility of the architect. We shouldn’t be sitting at a table discussing the costs and budgeting. Cost is the problem with EVERY project and isn’t the exception in green projects.
Education, so that everyone understands.

Your Resources – This is completely not legitimate, but what’s the deal with all the references? Go through what LEED refers to as guidelines, and most of the time they’re either federal, state, industry standard or engineering standard green guidelines. Why would I pay USGBC to follow a compiled list of environmental guidelines that I could otherwise have accessed for free? That just emphasize how the governmental body could be enforcing this but doesn’t.

My "Conclusion" - As you can see, there aren't too many reasons why I shouldn't take the LEED exam. But I guess my biggest issues is comes from my environmentalist self. Why should people pay to be green? Is the solution to climate problem to throw labels and money at it? And it's this fundamental question that really keeps me away from the LEED exam. I think the USGBC is a truly great organization and has moved this industry in its right path not a moment too soon. Right now, I am still trying to figure how I will ultimately fit my green ass into this mess. I don't know what is right for me still. But I do know that getting myself involved in USGBC to change it just isn't it right now.

Recap of 2007

2008-03-07T00:04:00.003-05:00

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
work full time, get a college degree, have my own health insurance, go to another country to visit my friend, volunteering in the gulf, going to stephen's graduation

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i didn't set new years resolutions at the beginning of 2007

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no

5. What countries did you visit?
china

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
work that is closer to my definition of sustainability, a life

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
being home at the beginning of the year and hanging out with stephen and eugeniaman
seeing stephen walking the stage
having hotpot with diajeh and witnessing her rocking shanghai
taking a cab ride to christinalum and realizing how much i miss her in the streets of beijing
slaving away the first half of the year and final presentation when peter and all the crits gave me real feedback on my thesis and announced that they loved it
watching movies with stephen and his friends
saying goodbye to friends
my first week at my real job
going to mississippi to volunteer for afh and meeting some of the most amazing souls ever and drinking millerhighlife and playing darts and gutting homes and caulking
politics, beer and good raw food with murphy
home at the end of the year

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
realizing that love and life is when and what you decide it to be

9. What was your biggest failure?
keeping my mouth shut

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
does mental illness count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
...grocery!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
am i giving people gold stars for citizenship?!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
see above answer

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent
food
airplane tickets
drinks

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
finishing my thesis!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
john mayer - continuum

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder?
happier

ii. Thinner or fatter?
the same

iii. richer or poorer?
richer and poorer at the same time (paying off loans but working!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
being for no other reason than being

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
being afraid

20. How did you spend Christmas?
good food with good company in the forever BHSS
family and chinese style christmas

24. What was your favorite TV program?
bill maher, battlestar gallatica, scrubs, naruto

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
such strong words!

26. What was the best book you read?
cradle to cradle

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
lupe fiasco

28. What did you want and get?
degree
job
discovery
perspective

29. What was your favorite film this year?
children of men

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
23 and i got chinese style birthday cake (you know the kind! thick ass crust of white/vanilla frosting that's eerily too perfect with the candy flowers)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
washed? check.

34. What kept you sane?
people
daylight
jun and sally
the light at the end of the tunnel

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
angelina jolie

36. Who did you miss?
lavi and jamie
christina and eugenia
stephen and diajeh
people

37. Who was the best new person you met?
nicole, nicole, amylin, people at work

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
anything is possible if you let it be and decide on it

Ocean Wide Atlantic

2008-03-06T23:56:00.001-05:00

July 4th, 2006

I want a bottle of wine
to drink along the shore
where we use to sit and dream
but this time alone for

I want this bottle empty
to fill it with the words
of lighthearted whispered promises
make to break unheard

wrap it tightly tight
in it those thoughts away
and hide them in the ocean wide atlantic
cuz you didn't take them yesterday

the signs are in the sky
a soul that'll sing me
they'll make me crash
into someone and i'll finally see

no language or walls
no funk could subdue
me talking or walking
and inhaling what's new

so i wait for the full moon
for the water rises with the tide
and when it touches my toes on the shore
i'll send the bottle into the ocean wide atlantic

Hehe..hehehehehe

2008-03-05T00:50:00.001-05:00

Starting From Today to Go Back to Go Forward

2008-01-24T00:36:00.002-05:00

**bleep bleep**
**bleep bleep bleep**
[sound of secret code being entered]

**chkrzzzzzch-shikaaaaaah**
[sound of secret door opening]

entry:
January 15, 2008

content:
tiredness. not the overarching feeling of tiredness that comes from digging a hole with a shovel. not the tiredness from reading a textbook after too long.
tiredness, as in the feeling from waiting, with impatience in a doctor's office.
tiredness, from monotony of action and not the act itself.
tiredness, from a lack of stimulation from not thinking.
tiredness, because i don't know how to change it tomorrow.

look harder, maybe the answer is right in front of you and...

tired how i can't hold a half decent conversation. at first i thought it was because it was my expectations as to what a conversation should be: context, climate, situational, trends, weekend, gossip. so the 'your shirt's cute' comments commences, but they make me feel dumber every time my mouth let fall these words. so paranoia takes over making me believe that reality is a state, to be surrounded by people that don't like me. and even though it's my state of mind thinking their thoughts, i can't seem to change it. so i wish myself to another place, hoping that if i could just get to a place with similar blacksheeps, i'll find my place and fit in.

i hate working. because 'working' made itself into it's own entity, existing separate from life. so i want life even more as there's less and less of it. but with less and less of it, i forget what it is that defines my life, and all the definition that is left is where i am working at. so i hate working even more, if only for the fact that i continue to forget and cannot live life as i dedicate more hours of my day to working.
and then i hate myself even more for buying into the corporate idea of separation between work and life, or that there is separation between work and life.

because work is a component of life, as is companionship, arts, conversation, the sky, food, humor, dew, the sound of a bird, mahjong, worship, faith. it's not that i forgot to live (that's part of the bullshit), i forgot life.

i set aside everything else of life. i neglect life. a relationship that started from the moment i first breathed air. she's been my companion for everything, through everything. we had better conversations when we were younger because things started to happen as we grew up.

baggage, abuse, thoughtlessness, lost, temptations, envy, insincerity, sickness, broken hearts, jealousy, betrayal. and we lost our talks and conversations. she looks from afar, across the street, from a bird's eye view, gazing without emotions. i hide behind fuzzy words like 'future', 'busy', 'i don't have time', 'too tired', 'maybe next time', 'goals.'

so there is no now. there is only delayed life. because now this isn't life and it will be life, when it becomes what i want it to be.

no more photos on facebook

2008-01-23T23:41:00.032-05:00

Sky (by LW)

I haven't posted anything for a while partly because the only way that I keep from over thinking my situation at work is by maintaining a healthy and busy lifestyle. IE beer on Friday, beer on Saturday, game and beer on Sunday, beer and princess bride on Monday, dance on Tuesday to get rid of the beer consumed since the beginning of the week (week starts on Monday!) and beer on Tuesday so this healthy lifestyle's got a few kinks, but nothings comes perfectly formed and theorized.

And I hate sharing anything on facebook now, because it's impersonal. It's me simply stating that I am hungry and all 88 friends of mine will know that 72 minutes ago, I was hungry.

So I'm starting to get these wheels greased.

And no, I am not hungry.

What do I have to share? A few things, like my trip to Mississippi last September, or my recent trip to China, or just the state life as a nine-to-sixer. The little things I come across as I walk along my usual route to work, the stories I hear, what tickled my fancy yesterday. It's always awesome to share, and sharing has to start somewhere. Even when that beginning was 4 months ago.

Here is the ever so much spoken about image I came across while on my way back to New York City. It was a rather casual flight. The stewards and stewardess were nice, some even took a moment to remember you. But the flight was at 5 in the morning and all I wanted was to go to sleep. They have this little known magazine called Sky (seeing photo of magazine above). The content consisted of the 'hottest' spots to check out on your next vacation with Delta, a tutorial on how to sleep and fly comfortably with your family in first class, description of the music on channels 1-14 and how to learn another language quickly and effectively with a 6 months audio dvd set. Actually, the amount of education or business related articles was somewhat unreal. But hey, I'm pretty sure the marketing department of Sky magazine did their homework.

My fascination topped at this one ad. It's content compelled me to pull out my camera and take pictures of it. Note to myself: never use flash while taking pictures of glossy magazine pages. It took several 5 minutes to get the image so that it looked legible. Then I just gave up. I switch the settings on my camera to the action setting: 10 pictures at a time!

You're a Model?! (by LW)

The end result isn't the sharpest...
But the idea is there.

Guess who it is!
Popcorn to the 7th correct answer!

follied

2007-09-05T09:49:00.003-04:00

i was going to bike to work today
the weatherman said it was chilly
a nice 78 degrees, with a nice breeze
it was going to be a nice day to see the greenway in the morning
i got up early
had on a grimy old tshirt to sweat it out this morning
gulped down extra water for hydration for the trip downtown
hair pulled back and my white canvas on my feet
upon inspection of the bike
i found that the tires were lifeless and limp
and for a few minutes i injected them with air from my hallway
lo and behold something starting to sizzle
it was the air coming out of the tires
so i wrote down the specs
for the bikeman around the corner
to purchase a new tire
switched my tshirt for a dress shirt
and took the subway to work

My First Day

2007-07-30T19:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day at my first full-time job in architecture.

I really really liked it. :)

I got to work early, to set up my station and the works. But when I got to the door, I froze, not quite remembering how I got in last time. A chic walked by and asked where I was going and I told her "...." and she said "I'm going there too!"
We shook hands.
"..." I said.
"..." she said.
And that's how I met my first coworker.

The day started out relatively finely. I sat. People were busy. I wasn't. I asked my neighbor to help me sign onto the computer. Then I twiddled my thumb some more.

Then my first coworker that I met came over and asked me if I could help her out with some shop drawings. I said I'd love to!

I spent the rest of the afternoon copying red lines from one document onto two others. And the rest was spent trying to figure out how the now larger stairwell was going to fit the existing plan.

Lunch was spent with my xth coworker that I met. We ate at the 'park' and talked about music, neighborhoods and 'conservative' people and how they suck. I had a pasta and a chocolate-marble-swirl muffin.

I left at around late, but if felt so good to be in a nice office! One of the principle came in and said something along the lines of we're-happy-you're-here and that was such a bow-tie on top of the freaking chocolate sundae fudge ice cream cake!

And yes, I enjoyed my first day at work Diary.

Indeed I did!

Siblings

2007-07-29T12:50:00.001-04:00

Something happened between me and my siblings. We are a gradient of lifestyles, personalities and eating habits. Perhaps 'gradient' is not the right word. Don't get me wrong, we get along fabulously, to the T. It's not grades of differences, it's the difference between night and day. Nee, the triangulated difference between moons, planets and suns. We're in the same solar system. Our gravitational pulls keeps us together. But the revolution speeds are different and we're just orbiting different things. We're together, just not on the same planet.

Let me expand. While one has a sensor controlled neurotic button with a faulty connection, the other can handle neuroticism like a business plan. One is bored half way thru a sentence and the other is patient for a discussion on subway orientation. One delights in the company of others while the other revels in solitude. Two understands money. One can't tell the difference between pennies and quarters. One can decide on a whim. The other can't decide for days, sometimes months.

And what happened? We were stemmed from the same womb. We must share more than just genetic makeup!

This past year has been the beginning of many very major changes in our lives; moving or not moving, starting new jobs, directions not yet known, facing an unknown. This may be happening for the first time for some of the siblings. And for the other, because the circle of life always reminds us things comes in phases. And with all the genetic, habitual, personality differences, somehow us siblings got lined up right this time.

I don't know what's going to happen. There's no more weekly assignments. No agendas. Just life.

And it's comforting to know that there's someone in a different timezone that can understand what I'm going through.

Contradictions

2007-07-28T23:42:00.000-04:00

Why does it seem, that I seem to be overly optimistic when I am with people who does not understand my opinions?
And almost senile when with those who are supporters?

Imminent

2007-07-27T19:59:00.000-04:00

Former Underwear Factory turned Green Exchange

2007-07-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

Chicago is trucking forward in the green movement. I secretly believe they're trying to take over Portland's place as the US's most green city.

This is old news (worldchanging already did an article about it). But's it's important to note that even mainstream media's taking notice and making acknowledgments about this project! Here is New York Times' coverage of Green Exchange. A 250,000-square-foot factory is being converted into a place for green businesses only. Out of a total of 100 commercial spaces, about 30 has been filled already.

Baum Development is the owner and they've hired Hartshorne Plunkard Architects for the interior work.

I think it's a great way to support green businesses. Strategically similar to La Cocina where they support women with their small businesses, Green Exchange becomes this incubator for green ideas. People find themselves with like-minded entrepreneurs, making a living out of something that is extremely important to themselves and everyone around them.

Imagine what kind of domino effect this could be. These businesses will change the neighborhood, mainly in terms of economics. And if the business tenants begin to live and raise their children there, then they will begin to effect the schools, what is being served at school (organically and locally grown produce could be supported). Businesses and residential homes will support renewable energy sources. The area will be planned, designed and developed to encourage walking, public transportation use, healthy loitering (don't try to look that up, I made that phrase up), urban agriculture. The possibilities are endless!

Of course Oakland's involved with the green movement!
Thanks Nancy for the link!

CNN/ YouTube Democratic Debate

2007-07-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

I missed it on CNN (I don't have tv set) so watched in on YouTube today!

I'm not sure what was the turn out for the number of people who watched it on CNN, but the view count on YouTube is sad.

I think there's about 15 parts! Enjoy and talk to me about it!

2 Apartment Blocks on the Coast - Izola, Slovenia

2007-07-25T13:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks Jun for the heads up!

This is Ofis's version of a low budget housing complex, for families and couples along the coast of a small town called Izola. A closer look at where Izola is, it's right off the Gulf of Trieste, Mediterranean climate.

This was not low income housing, but low cost construction. With 30 units, it's beautiful what they did to the facade on a budget!

These multi-colored loggias are private terraces. The covered color panels blocks the sun out and provides the privacy. If you look closely, each of these pods (don't they look like sea creatures?! I forget what they're called) actually has two openings. Some of them are covered over by the screen, so it's not as apparent at first. The top opening is the loggia, and then there's another opening right below it.

And if you look closely at the interior photograph, one can start to see that the spatial logic played out on the facade does not correspond to the plan. One might think that each pod is a unit, when in fact, each of the opening per pod is for two separate unit.

I do wonder how the inside feels like and what the other side of the building might look like. But this is no doubt an interesting design and I can't wait to see Ofis' other projects!

Of course I'm going to include the plan! Think I'm crazy?!

All images were taken from Ofis' website: http://www.ofis-a.si

Dear Architects...

2007-07-24T21:51:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it feels like I really need a Geography lesson

2007-07-23T11:27:00.000-04:00

So you think you know your geography?

IHT today reported that US Homeland Security Advisor, Frances Townsend, said going into Pakistan would be a possibility. This is days after Townsend received intelligence that Al Qaeda may be getting themselves up off their feet, planning and getting ready to attack in the northwestern regions of Pakistan.

So it made me wonder a few things:

Will every country that harbors Al Qaeda forces be attacked by the US
Will every country that finds themselves with Al Qaeda forces hiding in their country side be attacked by the US?
Where is Pakistan?

And if you think you're REALLY good with your geography, click on the image. It'll lead you to an urban education resource and it has an interactive 'fill-in-the-blanks' application. There's a surprise!

It took me six minutes to finish.
Sorry Mr. Sheehan!

Harry Potter vs Hilary Clinton

2007-07-21T23:05:00.001-04:00

TIB - Wednesday, 3rd Week: Sonic Boom

2007-07-19T13:11:00.000-04:00

If we all screamed at the same time, would there be such a sonic boom that could destroy the world? Or perhaps the ear drums of every living creature on the planet?

This is a time worn question: what would happen if many persons, did one thing, together at the same time? What would be the effect? Destructive like an earthquake? Create a sound wave so huge that shatters crystals and disrupts radio waves? Or could it possibly result in a positive effect? And we continue to ask this question because we wonder if one person can contribute to change.

We see change everyday, about all kinds of issues, involving people of every creed, at varying scales. If not historical examples then present day examples shows that many individuals coming together can find other many individuals with a similar voice and vision to cause change. Yet it makes me want to rip someone's spleen out when I hear the question:

'Well, what can you do about it?'

Granted the question might not be a question that could make someone perform surgery sans anesthesia. It is often times the persons behind the question who enrages me. They are the skeptics and pessimists and I am just acknowledging their existence and my dislike for them.

Because ultimately, when we look around, sonic booms are created everyday. When I take a paper cup of coffee to go instead of sitting down and enjoying a cup of joe in a ceramic cup. When businesses flourishes from selling wood from virgin forests and individuals reap the benefits from lowered prices on wood furniture. When Bush stole the first election and people still voted for him for a second term. When we decide that we don't need to have the newest fandango phone that's out on the market and stop this consumerist idealization. When we decline a plastic bag at the supermarket. When we call our mom's on Mother's Day.

Sonic booms can be made by individuals.
They can be 'for good' or 'for evil', and the many different shades of angels and demons in between.
And we, as individuals, can decide which kinds we want to be a part of when we realize we can all make sonic booms.

Why are the Red Hot Chili Peppers so cool?

2007-07-18T13:28:00.001-04:00

My New Hero

2007-07-17T00:46:00.001-04:00

His name is Lewis Gordon Pugh.

He is a maritime lawyer that works in London.

He just swam in the Arctic Ocean for 18 minutes and 50 seconds.

He did it to show the changes that global warming is doing to the planet.

That it has changed enough for people to swim in the Arctic Ocean.

It is the coldest water ever to be swum by a human recorded (28.7ºF).

Click on the picture for the link to his article in BBC online.

Solar1's CITYSOL Festival Begins This Thursday

2007-07-09T14:49:00.001-04:00

Tom Fishbourne

2007-07-09T14:06:00.001-04:00

Live Earth!

2007-07-07T23:02:00.000-04:00

I had a lot of high hopes for Live Earth. I was expecting it to be this all encompassing and great event that will not only merge great musicians together on the same stage, but bring awareness to the event.

And it did, if anything, this PR moment for global warming could not be better. All seven continents on this great green earth had a show or two dedicated to spreading the word of IPCC. In the Antartica show, the scientists there got together and had a jam session (it was broadcasted at all the Live Earth concerts).

People came together.
People sang songs.
People are answering the call.

So now, where my heartbreak comes in. I can only speak of the New Jersey event, as I didn't follow too closely on what happened at all the other ones.

First, the tickets were ridiculously expensive. Starting at $84 a pop to a staggering $384 for stadium floor level tickets. I know I for one would have loved to have gone with a ticket in hand, if they were around the $40 dollar margin. Adding more embarrassment is the fact that the event was not sold out.

Second, the event was meant to raise awareness and I assumed that that would include some form of education. So I was surprised about the whole separating the trash: recyclables, compost and waste. Yet beyond that, the creation of trash was not minimized. Yes, it was great that Stoneybrook Yogurts were there with their Organic creation. But ever time they gave out free samples, there went another paper cup plus plastic spoon. Yes, MSN was passing out little bags of seeds (very green and the seeds were for evergreen). But the paper bag in which it came in was super designed with all kinds of chemicals and ink printed on it, that I can't imagine it being recycled into quality paper. There was an additional volunteer team that took care of the trash, but the venue was still generating the same amount of trash as any other venue.

Third. Actually, this isn't really a third, it's more a complaint on my side of the fence. I couldn't believe some artists only had a 15-20 minute set. That's about 3 songs each!
Crazy!
Crazy!
I think this might be the only reason why I wouldn't want to go to any other concerts that had too many artists and only one stage. There's not enough time to hear them all!

In the end, I was a bit put off by the amount of non-green activities that was going on.
But, with all honesty: Mister Vice President Al Gore, you done one heck of a job at getting people starting on this track!

Thanks for Live Earth

Mother of Cheese...I Went Googling Again!

2007-07-06T13:48:00.002-04:00

Google is the 21st century's poster child of knowledge of the world (sans Korea where Naver rules). As powerful as it is, it should be used wisely. For too much knowledge, little grasshopper, can lead to too many choices. And too many choices does not lend one to make a decision easily.
It's an ironic catch-22.
We know more, we have access to the knowing of more, but that just ends up making it harder to make a decision.

So I Googled my lovely fingers off today. First reading CABE, which is a leading organization for architecture and the built environment in the UK. And I have to note that it's so refreshing to read about great built works that's not

built by large offices
only museums or high rise condominiums but includes infrastructural works
bad design (i.e. archibabbled works)

They even have tips from their design research about how to create better environments in health care, how to design universal design or what is actually important in open/public spaces. It's refreshing because they're not just talking about 'This is an example of great design but we won't explain why'.
CABE actually tries to explain why certain things are good.

But I digress! This blog isn't suppose to justify why CABE is so great, but how Googling got me further into my indecision about work. Because as I was going through their site, I started to realized some of the reasons why I couldn't make a decision. As Ira Glass would say: this week...in 4 acts...thinking too much before making a decision about work

Act I: I want to be a good designer/architect. Simple, quite, but it's more easily said than done. I want to be knowledgeable about construction, project development, cost estimation, expediting, getting new jobs, designing user friendly spaces, designing holistic places for people and all that takes time to figure and do.
I want to be good at what I do.
Solid, no question, good.
And that takes time to work towards, to develop until I'm actually good at what I do.

Act II: I do not want to continue the legacy of architecture from the design perspective, but take the path that a few and strong willed individuals have taken, like Sergio Palleroni which often takes vernacular design practice and methodology and adapting it for modern uses (ex. straw bale).
Construction methods and techniques are changing.
Urban planning practice and theory are changing.
This is not just a response to environmental changes that we're experiencing, but also due to cultural and economic shifts that have been forced into many places around the world.

Act III: Working at the smaller context level is something very important to me. Often times, it doesn't take much (money especially) to improve people's lives. Whether it's with a housing development project, new school, health care facilities or better streets and open spaces. But unfortunately, there are still some large scale developers who use their money and power to create monstrous projects in great neighborhoods. I'm all for larger scale projects, I really am. Renaissance Plaza in Oakland's chinatown, I even support some of the projects Moses did. But sometimes, the projects lose sight its reason, which is to be built for the people who's going to use it.

Act IV: I want to work at a global level. Perhaps the better term is larger context level. Meaning, if change were to happen, it would have to be supported by larger institutions and the government (Yes, that is a hint into my politics). When you look across the world, grassroots movements are springing up everywhere, but the government has to support and implement these changes as well.

So there you go, dudes and dudes. This is what happens when you can't make a decision and instead go Googling.
Not highly recommended at all.

How am I going to decide? I know this first job won't decide the rest of my life. I know it...it's just that I can't get this feeling out of my head and heart that it will decide the rest of my life. Can I have my cake and eat it too?

is it now time?

2007-07-05T14:49:00.002-04:00

trying to make a 'decision'

2007-06-30T12:19:00.002-04:00

I've been interviewing for the past two and a half weeks for a full-time position at an architectural office. It's tough, this interviewing business. On a good day, I'll be sitting in a great office with the four principals of the office sitting around me and we're joking about how the A's lost to the Mets. On a bad one, I'll be sitting around one principal with two senior associate feeling like I'm Vee just because the fuse blew out and I'm sitting under spot lights.

So I don't have this interviewing thing down pat. That's okay. This is just the beginning. The first chapter. The sweet opening of a fresh bag of salted potato chip. Of me working. In the real. With a salary. And benefits. With six and one quarter sick days per year, accumulating one and one quarter extra every additional year that I stay at the same office. The 9 to 6. The many margaritas by the jug after work at the same burrito shop on the corner of Sixth and Avenue A. The paycheck.

And no, I'm not entirely freaking out. It's just that I've been having a lot of time to think and as I think more (and believe me, I am doing EVERYTHING that I know to do that keeps me from thinking too much), the farther I am from making a decision. I can't decide breakfast any more! And I love breakfast! Bacons and eggs? Wasa with peanut butter, honey and bananas? Tea? Breakfast cookies? Water? Pear Juice? Potstickers? Why, just have it all if you can't decide! I've been forcing myself to run everyday due to this insane inability to make a decision. (Btw, I just broke my two mile, yes!)

There's been a ton of good advice. The most popular one has been "It's a business.' So here are the top characteristics that's going to help narrow this freakish search for 'My First Full Time Job':

Portfolio Work, getting to work in a broad range of projects, especially projects that I might not do ever again. Relatively:

health, stadiums, a new intelligence headquarters, big ass projects
civic/institutional

green
residential
infrastructure

Pay and Benefits, a decent salary with benefits, is ALWAYS a good thing
Green work, this should be higher but it can't be right now. I need to get more working experience before I seek it exclusively
Office size:

Corporate (they have the man power and money for you to have access to everything, a strong organization structure and ability to execute)
smallish office (they're super friendly!)
medium (people say it's the happy medium, maybe i'm just trying to belay my happiness)

Professional Development, will I be doing more than just sitting behind the screen cad monkeying? I know I can't do everything but I either want an office that allows, encourages or stuffs-it-down-your-throat you to do more\
IDP, given
Hours, sane
Green
A mentor in the office

Perhaps this list will change. I don't know. But it's just the beginning!

June 21st: Summer Solstice and More!

2007-06-20T11:00:00.001-04:00

The Summer Solstice is just around the corner and that is three blissful months of earlier mornings and later nights.

With more light around, why not turn off the lights?

That is exactly what Londoners are doing. On June 21st, Lights Out London is a campaign to have Londoners turn off their lights between 9pm and 10pm. Hosted by a radio station, Capital 95.8 is trying to bring the green campaign to everyone, famous and not. Even famous landmarks are not excluded. Picadilly Square will turn off their famous Coke Cola, McDonald signs for the first time in over 60 years!

They're not the first to do it. Sydney turned off their lights last year on Earth Day. The expected supporters ran about 65,000 households.

In the end, even larger institutions and offices joined in. I can only imagine what it was like to watch the Sydney Opera House turn off their lights!

Hope you'll also join in and partake in the turning off of lights. I'm surpised I couldn't find anything similar in the US yet. But maybe there is and I just don't know about it!

So peoples, if you can't turn off your lights from 9 - 10pm tomorrow night, try one of the following! We can turn off the lights!

Change your light bulbs - I know fluroescent doesn't have same rendering index as incandescent, but do you really need incandescent even in the hallway?
Unplug Unused Appliances - If you're not using it, unplug it. Leaving the adapter in the socket is still on the grid, thus using the grid
Turn off the AC - I have a mini courtyard in my apartment and I hate it when the neighbors turn on the AC. Mainly because it's really not that hot and secondly, the hot air just gets blown into my room. My solution? Sleep naked and turn on the fan!

And for those of you who's thinking about selling your car that runs on compressed air, let me know cuz I'm looking to buy one! From The Murph: Cars!

If I Knew Mandarin...

2007-06-17T23:32:00.000-04:00

Post [Graduation]

2007-06-06T10:46:00.000-04:00

No More!

The G8 Summit in Germany

Game Time:
Oakland v. Mets

Hong Kong Remembers Tiananmen Square

And I'll Never Forget All Those Moments...

Walk Down the Aisle

2007-06-01T08:31:00.000-04:00

It's finally today.
Now!
Not yesterday,
not tomorrow,
not in-the-near-future kind of optimistic view of the world.
I am graduating in the now
Today
Hear hear
Toast to tomorrow!

question: what does a college student bring home on the weekend?

2007-05-18T23:00:00.001-04:00

Answer: Dirty undies

hehe!

Tickle My Fancy

2007-05-16T14:58:00.001-04:00

nicknames

2007-05-07T11:16:00.001-04:00

Everything goes in cycles. There are natural cycles for things like water, procreation and fruit flies. There are the modified cycles we (human beings) have created like wastewater treatment plants, annual menstruations and English Springer Spaniels. And recently I came across another kind of cycle. It’s a cross between 6-degrees- of-separation and karma. For the lack of a better word, it’s a spiritual cycle.

Gasp, nag and be outrage all you want, I said the word and I’m not taking it back. I’ve admitted there’s a lot of things that happen in our lives that happens for who knows what reasons. It’s not part of rationale, cycles (natural or man-made) or even Freudian psychoanalysis. It’s like Karma’s making house calls, except there’s no shit to be had. Just Karma’s way of saying: ‘Hi, hello! How are you doing this morning? I’m a representative of Natural Forces. We’re just going around the community, giving out samples this week! There’s our classic I-Ronic Water, Yu N’Der Butts Bites for the doggie and Doogood Playdoh!”

KT and I ran into each other on none other than the corner of school. Seeing how we never see each other, we revisited our café after a two plus year hiatus. And talk we did. Thank goodness for KT cause I was about to blow into bits without talking about the Democratic Presidential Debate.

Then there’s Atlantic Yards Community Charrette. They’re fighting a huge developer’s development that’s happening in Brooklyn: imagine a modern day Moses (the New York one), Gehry and New York Nets together, now put that in the middle of Brooklyn. Yes, I know: Terrifying! The charrette was awesome, great people, great minds. But following the spiritual cycle theme, Dreads was also there. Dreads’ someone I use to see whenever I went to the Center and around town for lecture. Someone I always wanted to talk to but could never come up with anything to say. Better mute than tongue-tied, I use to think. And there he was, in the middle of the charrette, albeit sans Dreads, yet still Dreads.

Then there’s Captain Fat and Commander Ass. The former who I haven’t seen for the longest time! Finally seeing him and hanging out was awesome! The latter, has the most bizarre awesomeness happening, for helping to set my brain straight on a very pertinent matter.
Then there’s the always welcomed and surprising phone calls from genius. She has the uncanniest timing, I swear. You have a JOB!

And then there’s Sensei (funny, I use to call you Teacher and Ms. Grammar for your anal-ness on writing and grammar). For all the weirdest overlapping of conversation we can have, I have committed myself as a social extension for her. Call it a social experiment, meeting people not only for yourself, but also all your single friends you have.

(And I just remembered the name! Sounds like Aaron, not sure about the spelling)